Top Ten Things I Wish Politicans Would Say!

http://goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog/study-of-the-day-political-disagreement-and-income-inequality-are-friends/

As you all know it is gearing up to be another doozy of a campaign year.  This is the inspiration for my Top Ten Tuesday!

10. Heck yeah I inhaled and then I followed up with one of the best munchy binges I ever had!

9.   Look Mr. John King, I get you are tying to showcase us as “hip – not in the dark ages” GOP presidential candidates, but with what is going on in this country and the world right now, I think my take on pop culture is a bunch of (bleep)!

8.   Of course I am going to raise your taxes.

7.  Everything I say during my campaign is nothing but smoke and mirrors.

6.  I may not know how many states there are in the Union, but I am only really counting the ones that matter to my campaign or political party.

5.  To be honest with you, I have no idea what is like to be poor or middle class, but I am going to legislate like I do.

4.  Constitution-smonstituion!  Who really reads that old rag anyway?

3.  You bet I had sexual relations with that woman.  It is just one of the many perks of being the leader of the free world.

2.  Attention Media: No matter how many times or ways you ask me a question I will never answer it. And another thing, take this to your breaking news desk . . .(bleep) off!

1. Yes, that was my Oscar Mayer all over the internet.  You got a problem with that?

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This Tiger Mother is Done with the Tiger Blood!

Soapbox Sundays! Better Late than Never!

Yes, I am the Chinese sign of the Tiger and I actually loved the book ,Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.  I am not saying that I am for not allowing  my kids to attend sleep overs or make them practice the piano a million hours a day.  I just like the fundamentals of the book and the author is hilarious and laughing all the way to the bank because she has roused up a whole sect of “soccer moms”.  I digress . . .   What my Soapbox Sunday is about is good ‘ol Charlie Sheen and his “tiger blood” syndrome.

 I am going to own that I am going to be guilty of doing exactly what I am on my soapbox about, but maybe if I can get enough of you to agree with me, words like Charlie Sheen and tiger blood will fade away as quickly as it  ignited.

I get that for some sick and strange reason America loves to watch train wrecks of humanity Hollywood.  No one really wants to face the reality that the world is in economic crisis, the Middle East is in civil distress, the Mid-West is in civil unrest, we are going to be bellying up to the pump at $5.00 a gallon soon  and there are only three episodes left of Big Love.   I get watching some “fictious” character of Hollywood on his crash and burn tour to either Promises Rehab Facility or to something far worse with only a True Hollywood Story episode to be remembered by, seems to be a good way to fill up the days of our pathetic lives. 

Unfortunately, Charlie is not a fictious character. He has people who actually love him and hates seeing this happening.  You have the mothers of his children trying to shelter them from them seeing their dad self destruct and a family that just don’t know what to do, so they are just bracing themselves for his rock bottom moment, ready to pick up the broken pieces, if there is any left to pick up.

This is a man who is not fueled by “Tiger Blood”, even thought my Sirius Radio has a whole station dedicated to “Charlie Sheen’s Tiger Blood Radio”, like it is something real.   What he is fueled by is all the attention he is getting out of this.  He is an addict and this is classic text-book addict behavior, I should know I grew up with addicts my whole life.

The media, the fans or non-fans need to leave him alone; he should be hearing a million crickets, not a million tweets. No one should be adding fuel to this train wreck.  

He is losing everything tangible and in his surreal false reality he is thinking he IS gaining everything and has an edge on the market of life.  A life that is troubled, disturbed, and wounded.   Please America, can we please stop with the tiger blood and get back to True Blood.  At least that is fiction and not someone’s true reality.

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Top Ten Reasons Why Mankind is Becoming More Like Troglodytes the Smarter the Technology Gets!

We are in a world of Wi-fi, smart phones, DVR machines, Google, Facebook, Twitter, GPS, and even cars that can turn on by simply pushing a button.  Heck, my Miele double ovens have more features than the average mid-sized sedan.  In all of this advancement in technology there is one part of the equation that is not meeting its demands – the human race.  We seem to be reverting backwards in society where the only thing we have to show for the progression of technology are sore thumbs and more opportunities to morph into troglodytes.  This is the inspiration of my Top Ten Tuesdays:

http://visualrian.com/images/item/315389

10:  No one can spell anymore.  Yes, and I have to say I too, have thrown that whole notion out of the window.  Why would I ever continue to waste my time in learning to spell when  my smart phone not only checks my spelling but actually anticipates correctly the word I want to use with only two characters entered?

9. What would we do without  GOOGLE:  Why would anyone ever go to the library to do research and used the Dewey Decimal System when you can stay at home in you skivvies and drink booze while doing your reasearch?  All you have to do is type in your misspelled search words and Google will spit out nine million options on that subject AND most of all supply a healthy amount of porn to go along with it.  All the Dewey Decimal System did for me in college was add five extra hours to my time spent in the friggin’ libary with no “happy endings”. 

8. Blue Hairs.  This generation is just a lost cause.  They are still trying to figure out the  “Clap On” light switch and the thought of trying get them to hop on the world-wide web-internet highway without stalling out and having “fatal” error messages appear all over their computer screen is almost impossible.

7.  Customer service is no longer an instant service.  Yes, you know what I am talking about.  You call and you get a computer answering service that asks you to speak certain things, yet never understands what you are saying.  All you get out of the call is, “Sorry I did not get that, please try again.”  Which sadly ends in, “Sorry, we cannot understand your request, please hang up and try your call again.”  By this time you are throwing your phone across the room crusing up a storm and now you not only do not have the information you needed, but you have to go to the store and replace a phone to go through the same thing again.  

6.  No one can write with a pen or pencil.  Pretty soon babies are going to be born with hands and fingers in “text ready” position. It is already stating, all that most people can do is sign their name on the dotted line. 

5. Mail a letter? What is a Stamp? Isn’t that what email is for?  Who needs to know how to lick a stamp, let alone know even what a stamp is when all you have to do is send an email.  Right now I can tell  you that the mail I get on a daily basis is only advertisements and a few bills.  On the slim chance there is a card or letter in the mail from a friend of family member, I see the beam from heaven shining down on my little mail box and as I open it, I hear Handel’s Messiah!

4. Never leave home for it.  Who needs to knock the stank off,  get dressed, put on the war paint and drive to a store and interact with humanity to get items needed when with just one click of the mouse, you have your hearts’ desire with free shipping.  You can even have your groceries dropped off at your door. 

3.   Twittering and Tweeting are not longer just for the birds.  There was a time when all the tweeting you heard was the cute little robin or sparrow sitting outside your window.  Now all you get is the annoying chirp of your smart phone letting you know someone just tweeted.

2.  Who needs doctors when there is the internet?  It seems that thanks to modern technology and the internet, those that spent sleepless nights serving their medical residencies, are now being replaced by some blogger that is probably living his mother’s basement high on bad weed and is now your “authority” on the rash that you currently have.  Sure he may have a rash, but it is due to the combination of bad weed and not moving from his computer screen for  three days.

1. Diarrhea of the Facebook and Twitter:  I will admit, I enjoy getting updates and pictures posted to my Facebook account to stay connected with many of my inner and outer circle.  HOWEVER, I  did not need to know that you are checking in and out of the grocery store, the gym, Bed, Bath and Beyond, the proctologist, the local “dispensary”  and now the bathroom.   I also love those that have no sense of self edit or restraint of their virtual pie holes and accidentally post something catty about somebody on the wall of the person they are being catty about. Or better yet, just post something horribly embarrassing to their character of what a total tool they are.   It is amusing to watch that fire storms brew when that happens.  You can pretty much tell who will NOT be coming to the next Holiday dinner in certain families.

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A Return To Soap Box Sundays!

* Sad but have to weekly disclaimer: If you don’t like what I have to say, don’t read it. If you chose to and still don’t like what I have to say and want to respond, please be civil and appropriate.  I love feedback of all points of view.  🙂

Technology 2 Early?

Today I was browsing the net looking for what PD1 wants for her 3rd b-day on price comparing.  She actually wants the Fisher Price Wheelies Stand and Play Ramp with all the different cars to race her sister and her dad with.  I was a bit surprised since she is very much a girly girl, but hey, I LOVED Hot Wheels when I was little and had the garage that had the cool elevator and I think I turned out a fairly OK. 

While ‘googling’ (apparently, that is a new verb) this toy, I can across this toy, Fisher Price Laugh and Learn iCan Play case for an iPhone or iTouch so your little one can play with your iPhone or iTouch for the toddler and pre-school ages and  I was floored.  I have a group of friends that did get their two and half-year olds iTouches for Christmas, while I got PD1 a doll house and pretend kitchen toys.   That whole thing troubled me when I heard that and now I see that this is a growing trend!

I get that there is an obvious market for this, since it was named as a top toy to get at a Toy Fair in New York, but really parents!  Can’t we keep these kids, kids for a little bit longer?  Do we now not only have to see the 6-10 year old completely disengaged from his or her surroundings while playing on theirs DS or Gameboy, even at the Happiest Place on Earth or the local zoo, but now we have to watch the night of the living toddlers zombied out on their parents’ iPhones. 

I know that this is the sign of the times in the case of technology, but I think I was born in the wrong era.  I just joined the Smart Phone and Facebook party and I am not sure I like either that much.   The thought of being connected all the time to someone, something and somewhere is a bit overwhelming.  I am totally guilty of “unplugging” for days on end and if someone really wants to get a hold of me, they can ring me the good old fashion way.

I guess what bothers me about this new technology trend of getting them exposed early is all the arguments I hear that this builds good eye-hand coordination, helps with learning and developing fine motor skills and reading.   I don’t buy that a $250-$500 technolgy device that is designed for adult use is something that is for pre-schoolers to use for learning or entertainment.  I feel, in most cases, not all cases (I think some of my close buds feel as stongly about exposing them to current technology as I do about sheltering them), it is an item a parent can give to a kid to distract them so they can do what they want to do and somehow justify it to themselves that it is educational to make them feel better.  Once again dodging being a hands on parent.  

How about, unplug, disconnect and throw a ball, take a walk, enjoy the animals at the zoo, get out the paints, the tea party set, Play-Doh, Legos,  building blocks or even a cardboard box and decorate it like a car and play pretend?  Those are real things that teach all the above arguments and one other thing that I think is the most important of all that the iPhone can’t teach and that is, SOCIAL SKILLS.  

Before I get off my soap box I have one last thing to say, when the world  starts scratching their heads on why we can’t work, live and play well with each other and thumbs and index fingers have arthritis at the ripe old age of 30, don’t be surprised that I will tell you, “I told you so”.  Balance, moderation and restraint on growing up your kids too fast is what I feel is the key.

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Sarah Palin’s Silver Lining

This is an inspired moment from a recent post from my blog buddy and dear friend The Idiot Speaketh’s, “Sarah Palin helps me yet again” .

Having a” relative” secure spot in the harem I dare go out in the ledge and say that since the Kate Gosselin and Sarah Palin TLC incident, I have a new-found respect for Palin!  She made that crazy and media obsessed, (even though she says she hates it) Kate Gosselin lay in the fetal position sucking her thumb in one of the most beautiful places in the world. 

http://brainz.org/news/sarah-palin-and-kate-gosselins-camping-trip-disaster/4086/

I also watched her recent interview on FOX ( January 17, 2011).  Yes, I do cross over to the “dark side” and watch that network along with CNN  CYA (they will not use “targeted”, “cross hairs”, “sticking to your guns”, “point-blank” or any reference that could be construed as encouraging violent rhetoric.  Give me a friggin’ break!   I am a smart person who writes and that just insulted my intelligence and love for the use of metaphors.) I digress. . .

The next day after the interview I  heard all the media scuttlebutt on what she said.  I was really disappointed on how many of the sound bites taken were not at all what was really said or even within context.  I double checked that by replaying the interview and what was being reported. It actually disturbed me.   The bottom line is, she may play the victim well, but falsely reporting what someone says it what the media obviously does well on both sides. 

For example, last nights’ news cycle on FOX was stating that the Democratic side was calling the Republicans Nazi’s during the repeal debate of Health Care Reform on the House floor yesterday. I saw and heard what the gentleman said.  IT WAS A METAPHOR so he could make his point.  Was it a bad metaphor?  It sure was not one of the best ones I have heard, but there was passion behind it and passion can fuel bad judgement in choice of words.   I have fallen victim of that many times (I am the queen of open mouth insert foot).   There was NO need to run that and have a “taking head” commentator instruct the viewer on what was said between the lines.  All it caused was more hate mongering and getting off point to what matters.

What unnerves me is how all this false reporting and stirring the pot for a story just continues to egg on hate for someone who if they would just blow each other off and not comment they would shut up and actually work on getting this country back on its feet. 

To me this whole thing is just a big political game.  It is like both sides need each other.  The left needs characters like Palin for a good story to showcase how conservatives and Tea Party constituents are a threat and ignorant and the right needs the Palin character so she can say what they are all afraid to say;  total passive aggressive approaches and that boils my blood. 
The bottom line is, whether you like her or not she has balls.  Are they smart balls? Yes, I think she “dumbs”  down like the stupid blond in High School in math class so she gets the attention she wants.  The one thing I can give her credit is that she does stick to her guns (no pun intended) and you know where she stands regardless if you like the smell of what she is standing in.  You don’t see that often enough in politics and that is something that I can appreciate and it makes me angry that she was portrayed in saying things regardless if you like what she said or not in a very untruthful spin.  

Just to clear it up, I not a “I love Sarah Palin” fan, but there are things she says that I can understand where she is coming from and I find myself agreeing with.  There are also things she says that I feel she just crawled out from under a rock on.  However, it all comes back to the fact she was able to showcase Kate Gosselin’s amazing ability to birth a cow on national television (roughing it in the great outdoors is always a good way to bring out someone’s true character)!  This just proves my point that you can always find silver lining in anything, even when it comes to Sarah Palin.

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A Little Sap, Laughs, and Disco!

The Idiot posted a very lovely and touching post last week.  He has touched so many people, including myself, through the power of modern-day ink via cyber space .  He is not only HILARIOUS, he is a good friend and champion to many of us.  

He has expressed that he has his battles, and prevailing might I add, with the “D” word, yet he brings such joy and support to those that read him.  I feel he gives 100% of himself to his audience and his following is proof in that pudding.

I know that this is not much, but  I want to do something special for the Idiot to just say thank you for making us laugh, cry, snort our coffee out of our noses, hold our hands over our faces while at work, wet ourselves,  and most of all just have a good old belly laugh, stomach pains and all! 

 I noticed I have not seen much of his beloved DISCO go viral on his blog lately, so I am dedicating this song to the Idiot! It is the most fitting disco song I could find to fit his mold (for the record, this is one of the very few disco songs that can coax me onto the dance floor with out much booze or pushing – gotta love this song!).  Thank you Idiot,  for the sap, the laughs and the disco!

Last order of business before singing off, I was published again via Blissfully Domestic.  Please check it out and support a starving writer (I even did my own photography)!

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One of the Best One Hit Wonders!

Be on a look out for a Top Ten Tuesday Best One Hit Wonders in the near future!  This is one of my favorites, Major Tom, by Peter Schilling, that will make the list.  It is Sunday afternoon so  just crank it and enjoy it, especially you Idiot and Frolicking Lady!

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My Top Ten Most Favorite Movies

Now that the weather is changing to have excuses to grab that ol’ Snuggie, comfort goodies and get cozy on the couch with good flicks, I wanted to incorporate my favorite top ten most favorite movies for my Top Ten Tuesday. Hopefully this will either  remind you of a good flick or introduce you to one.   I have a list that should appease most everyone from romantic comedy to action packed, including a couple must see movies during the holidays!  I included the trailers to maximize the relive or introduction moment! Enjoy!

10.)   Love Actually – Ok, so it is number 10, but it is a must see and one of the best love-happy movies I have ever seen.  I watch this while decorating my Christmas Tree each year!  Even the hubs likes this movie!

9.)  Planes, Trains, and Automobiles – I can relate to this movie more than you know and I may be reenacting the “F—ing scene” this Turkey Day while I am at the Alamo car rental kiosk when visiting Colorado based family.

8.) Tommy Boy – I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this movie.  There is not a scene that I don’t think is hilarious and is a movie that makes me miss Chris Farley very much.

7.)  Pride and Prejudice/Juno (they have to share because they rate exactly the same and tied for this spot) –  Let’s start with Pride and Prejudice– I know some of you would think it is a yawn, but I just love it.  Elizabeth Bennett reminds me of how I think I would have been during that time period. I also love the family dynamic and the father, played by Donald Sutherland, is just a warm and hilarious character that I adore  This is the ONLY Jane Austen movie I like.

Juno- Seriously, this movie rocks.  I love the lines, the story of how this screenplay came about and most of all the family dynamic.  I love how everyone handled this “garbage dump of a situation”.  I hope that if I am ever faced with this type of problem with my girls I will use this movie as an inspiration.

6.) National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation – OK, this is my life to a T during the holidays.  We must watch this at lest three times during the holidays.  I have many of these lines memorized and actually use during the season!

5.) Fargo – I love a good “dark” movie.  Yes, it is a bit disturbing because it is based on a true story, but it is an amazing flick!

4.) Christmas Story –  If you don’t like this movie, something is very wrong with you and we can’t be in the same social circle.  I look forward to the holidays for this specific movie.  I have no idea how many times I see this every holiday season since we leave it on in the background starting Christmas Eve and all day Christmas Day via TBS’s 24- hours of a Christmas Story. 

3.) Pulp Fiction – This made the top three.  It is a bit on the raw violence side, but it is an amazing movie.  The “bring out the gimp” scene s a bit distrubing to me, but that is what the FF button is for.  The one thing I noticed, is that this movie does not have a specific score behind the scenes. You know that this is a movie that has legs when you don’t have to have a score for scenes!  

2.) Steel Magnolias – I know, a total chick flick, but anytime I see this on, I stop what I am doing and watch it . . . and yes cry like a baby each and every time.  Shirley Maclain and Olympia Dukakis are my favorite characters in this movie.  I actually love the quote by Olympia Dukakis said to Dolly Parton, “You know what they say, If you don’t have anything nice to say about someone, come sit by me!”  That is usually how I open each “gossip girl’s night out”. 

1.) Shawshank Redemption – I can’t tell you how much I love this movie.  This movie speaks for itself and that is why it is number 1! 

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I Learn Something New Every Day!

This is a fellow blogger, Perpetually Peeved inspired moment based on her accounts and experiences during her recent outing to her local pumpkin patch family outing.  She got a volume of good material and I just got this.  Thanks PP for a bit of inspiration and like promised, I will share my findings!

Camp Pie Hole headed out for our first annual Pumpkin Patch Festivus!  After the hubs got over the highway robbery he witnessed regarding his pocket at the gate, there was fun for all!  They had a great Corn Maze, hay rides, tractor slides, Kettle Corn, Critter Zoo and an actual educational moment for the hubs and I while visiting Valentine, the donkey. 

Now, I think I am relatively savvy in a lot of areas especially synonyms for insulting explicit words.  What I found out is not only amusing, but I will actually use in the presence to PD1 and PD2 while I am driving, watching political banter, Jon Steward, O’Reilly, Greta, Olbermann, and Nancy Grace. Thank you Underwood Farms for giving me good replacements for Dumb – A . . ., Jack -A . . . , A-Hole and Horse’s – A . . .  with a gender specification!  Now it is Jack, Jenny and  Hinny!

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Leave the Mud-Slinging to Home Improvement and the Kids!

http://www.cartoonstock.com/

 The other night I went in to check on the hubs while he was working on the laundry room he is adding to the house.  He was in the stage of mudding and taping the drywall he just hung and he was slinging that mud around.  As I stepped in and just dodged the slinging mud he smiled and said to me, ” Hey there is more mud-slinging going on than the November election season!”  

I live in California and as long as you have not been living under a rock, you will know we are a state that is BROKE and BROKEN.  We have cities literally robbing their citizens blind, we have an education system and state budget that is far from reflecting the fact we are the eighth largest economy in the world. We have lost thousands of manufacturers due to over regulations of environmental policy to states like Texas, Colorado, and Florida, not to mention Mexico and China.  We have the highest welfare stats in the nation and we have politicians that literally starved a whole community and compromised the whole farming community of the San Joaquin Valley for the protected delta smelt fish that was discovered in the man-made delta that feeds the water to 1/3 of the nation’s food supply.  There is very serious speculation that the only way that the water was turned temporarily back on was for a vote for the Health Care Bill*.

With that, it is beyond me why anyone would ever want to be governor, senator, or any public official of this state, but when you try to watch a simple Seinfeld episode you are bombarded with smear adds, breaking news of this candidate doing this and that candidate saying that.  If I see Gloria Allred’s overly bright red suit one more time my retinas are going to burn!  If I hear that Jerry Brown called Meg Whitman a “w” one more time I am going to throw the stupid TV out the second story window. 

 What I want to hear is not the slosh and then splat of a massive mud-slinging party.  I want to hear what you are going to do ensure the future for me, my fellow neighbors, and my children.  I want to know how you are going to try  to get us out of this mess we are in.  I want a candidate to once rise above all the mud and junk and just focus on the issues at hand. 

Honestly, all politicians are crooked and shady. You don’t get to that level without skeletons, bad choices and having to pay off someone.  Some are worse than others, but has anyone ever seen a politician ever come out of a campaign without a million skeletons falling out of their closets?  I don’t care about the he said, she said, the he did and she did thing.  The million dollar question is can they do the job and convince me they can. That is how you are going to get my vote no matter the party affiliation.

No matter what side of the fence you vote on, every person should feel the same way.  We pay these people to manage our taxes, communities, and even our livelihoods.  It is our fiduciary responsibility to hold them accountable to not act like children in a mud pit, but to focus on what matters and that is us,  the tax paying citizens. 

*Buying Votes for Water –  http://www.investors.com/NewsAndAnalysis/Article.aspx?id=527775

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