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Posts Tagged ‘stupid people’

We are in a world of Wi-fi, smart phones, DVR machines, Google, Facebook, Twitter, GPS, and even cars that can turn on by simply pushing a button.  Heck, my Miele double ovens have more features than the average mid-sized sedan.  In all of this advancement in technology there is one part of the equation that is not meeting its demands – the human race.  We seem to be reverting backwards in society where the only thing we have to show for the progression of technology are sore thumbs and more opportunities to morph into troglodytes.  This is the inspiration of my Top Ten Tuesdays:

10:  No one can spell anymore.  Yes, and I have to say I too, have thrown that whole notion out of the window.  Why would I ever continue to waste my time in learning to spell when  my smart phone not only checks my spelling but actually anticipates correctly the word I want to use with only two characters entered?

9. What would we do without  GOOGLE:  Why would anyone ever go to the library to do research and used the Dewey Decimal System when you can stay at home in you skivvies and drink booze while doing your reasearch?  All you have to do is type in your misspelled search words and Google will spit out nine million options on that subject AND most of all supply a healthy amount of porn to go along with it.  All the Dewey Decimal System did for me in college was add five extra hours to my time spent in the friggin’ libary with no “happy endings”. 

8. Blue Hairs.  This generation is just a lost cause.  They are still trying to figure out the  “Clap On” light switch and the thought of trying get them to hop on the world-wide web-internet highway without stalling out and having “fatal” error messages appear all over their computer screen is almost impossible.

7.  Customer service is no longer an instant service.  Yes, you know what I am talking about.  You call and you get a computer answering service that asks you to speak certain things, yet never understands what you are saying.  All you get out of the call is, “Sorry I did not get that, please try again.”  Which sadly ends in, “Sorry, we cannot understand your request, please hang up and try your call again.”  By this time you are throwing your phone across the room crusing up a storm and now you not only do not have the information you needed, but you have to go to the store and replace a phone to go through the same thing again.  

6.  No one can write with a pen or pencil.  Pretty soon babies are going to be born with hands and fingers in “text ready” position. It is already stating, all that most people can do is sign their name on the dotted line. 

5. Mail a letter? What is a Stamp? Isn’t that what email is for?  Who needs to know how to lick a stamp, let alone know even what a stamp is when all you have to do is send an email.  Right now I can tell  you that the mail I get on a daily basis is only advertisements and a few bills.  On the slim chance there is a card or letter in the mail from a friend of family member, I see the beam from heaven shining down on my little mail box and as I open it, I hear Handel’s Messiah!

4. Never leave home for it.  Who needs to knock the stank off,  get dressed, put on the war paint and drive to a store and interact with humanity to get items needed when with just one click of the mouse, you have your hearts’ desire with free shipping.  You can even have your groceries dropped off at your door. 

3.   Twittering and Tweeting are not longer just for the birds.  There was a time when all the tweeting you heard was the cute little robin or sparrow sitting outside your window.  Now all you get is the annoying chirp of your smart phone letting you know someone just tweeted.

2.  Who needs doctors when there is the internet?  It seems that thanks to modern technology and the internet, those that spent sleepless nights serving their medical residencies, are now being replaced by some blogger that is probably living his mother’s basement high on bad weed and is now your “authority” on the rash that you currently have.  Sure he may have a rash, but it is due to the combination of bad weed and not moving from his computer screen for  three days.

1. Diarrhea of the Facebook and Twitter:  I will admit, I enjoy getting updates and pictures posted to my Facebook account to stay connected with many of my inner and outer circle.  HOWEVER, I  did not need to know that you are checking in and out of the grocery store, the gym, Bed, Bath and Beyond, the proctologist, the local “dispensary”  and now the bathroom.   I also love those that have no sense of self edit or restraint of their virtual pie holes and accidentally post something catty about somebody on the wall of the person they are being catty about. Or better yet, just post something horribly embarrassing to their character of what a total tool they are.   It is amusing to watch that fire storms brew when that happens.  You can pretty much tell who will NOT be coming to the next Holiday dinner in certain families.

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It was a dark and stormy afternoon, this past Tuesday, as we headed out to the “Happiest Place on Earth”  for their special Halloween celebration.   When I woke up Tuesday morning it was raining, not just raining, but pouring!  The kind of pouring that Texans call, ” a cow pissin’ on a flat rock” pouring.   I live in Southern California, the only worry we have in October are wildfires, not rain, thunder, lightning and hail. 

With the weather the way it was and the forecast showing it only gettng worse,  I called Disney to see if we could get a rain check since I had purchased these tickets for the family in advance for this particular day.  They nearly laughed me off the phone and pretty much told me that I could buy a poncho from one of the many gift shops and to pretty much suck it up.  So we packed up the kids and headed to the Happiest Place on Earth. 

When we got there, we loaded the kids up in the double stroller and put their rain coats on.  We headed out of the parking structure, which is conveniently located about a mile from the park entrance.  You can take a tram from the parking structure, but that would mean we would have to break down the stroller and all its contents (I tend to over pack when on outings so my stroller usually looks like a yak or sherpa heading to base camp of Everest).   It was only a light drizzle so we decided to “go for it”.   About three minutes into the walk, the heavens open up and we get soaked. It is raining cats and dogs!  I have PD1 holding a unbrella and trying to referee her from stabbing her sister in the eye with the umbrella spokes that is sitting behind her.   While trying to do that, I am not paying attention to where I am going and walk through puddles that could support a school of fish. 

We finally get to the gates, I am soaked, the hubs is soaked, but the kids are fairly comfortable and dry.  As we enter through the security portion of the entrance the Disney staff, must have taken pity on my “drowned rat cat” appearance and did not force the issue.

As we head in there are a million people there!  How could this be? It is pouring! Are there this many people as cheap and dumb as me to insisting on going to Disneyland in the rain?  Everyone is wearing those infamous ponchos that the customer service rep told me about.  I refused to not get one out of principal, which the only person it hurt was me, my rain jacket lost it luster of holding back the rain about an hour into the adventure.

While navigating through the park and you combine strollers, rain, people in ponchos and people texting, you are in the making of a huge disaster of pending foot, leg, hip, arm, back , neck and most of all butt injuries. The butt injuries are the most common because when someone is stupid enough to be pushing a stroller in the rain, while wearing a poncho that they can’t see in, and trying to text or twitter about how much fun they are NOT having at Disneyland, and they run over you, well lets just say the phone finds a new home.

Finally it is time for some rides!  We unload the kids and head to Dumbo!  The line is pleasantly short and we head into the loading section.  As I am stepping into the pink elephant, I am welcomed with an ice cold drench to the feet.  The friggin’ bottom of the ride if full of water!  Oh great! Just great!  Well, that explains why that ride had a short line.  Shortly after my feet get drenched, they rid the water from each bottom.

After Dumbo we take refuge in the Merrry-Go- Round until the rain lets up.   It is now dark and we head to Small World to only find that it is closed.  Drat! However, there is a long line and at Disneyland long lines usually means something fun and exciting.  I ask a random middle-aged guy standing in line with his family what the line was for, he said, “Candy!”  Candy?  I was puzzled.  I know that during this event Disneyland has stations set up for the kids to go and grab a handful of candy from, but this line was something deserving of meeting Mr. Wonka himself.I pressed the guy a bit further to the details of the “candy” and he said, “It is just candy!”  I could not help but laugh out loud and say, “Seriously, you are waiting in an hour long line, in the rain, for plain Hershey bars?”  He said, “Yes, it is all about the experience, plus they give you a lot of candy for the wait!”  I replied back in my soaken, sassy tone, ” Well, if it is a lot of candy you are looking for,  that is what Costco is for!” He was not amused. 

I kept looking back at the line and it just kept getting longer and longer.  The hubs kept saying that we may be missing something so I again asked a staff member and they verified it was just the candy line.  Those people were insane! They had small children, standing in the rain getting soaked for a few measly candy bars!  The hubs and I both agreed that we would rather have hemroid surgery than be that stupid. 

The evening was full of misfits and odd ordeals.  We managed to NOT stay dry, but we kept our humor and mockery of all the idiots we saw.  We must have rode the Merry-Go-Round and Dumbo a million times and we did manage to traumatized PD1 on two of the rides, which I will address in part two of this series. 

The moral of this story is don’t go to Disneyland ever while it is raining, even if you already have paid for your tickets in advance. You will only be surrounded by stupid, wet and insane people. The smart, dry and sane people stayed home and watched Toy Story and ate candy from Costco.

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