D-Day is Around the Corner, You Better Not Blow It!

So Mother’s Day is right around the corner, if this was your first indication of that, you are in a pretty sticky situation.   I have always wondered why if you forget Mother’s Day it is far worse of a crime, almost unforgivable, than forgetting Father’s Day.  Maybe it is because we, mothers, carry you nine long months, all the while puking our brains out, and having our bodies turn into the close replica of the local “Holiday Inn”.   Then we have the pleasure of either having to push out or reenact the infamous Alien scene in birthing an 8 pound bowling ball. 

Then there are the endless nights of the lack of sleep, diapers, and vomit flu fests.  Let’s not forget to mention being the sucker that drew the shortest straw and now has to drive you and four of your troglodyte peers to and from practice for the season and then has the joys of having to fill in as the “team laundry” mom since the coach wants to save money. 

These said hardships are only the tip of the iceberg of what moms endure for the sake of loving her kids.  Most of  us never complain, unless we have a blog to carry that burden, and we take our job seriously.  So, if you forgot that special mom, get your butt in gear and go take care of business in doing something that shows her that you appreciate her and the role that she had in your life.  Buying a card isn’t going to cut it. 

If you are still stumped, you can go on over to my recent cold hard cash published piece for a few ideas (yes, I am tooting my horn… TOOT, TOOT!) that is on the new and updated Blissfully Domestic  web-based magizine. 

Good luck and may I only hear of wonderful “Mama is happy” stories come Monday!

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A Brief Visit from an Old Nemesis

Last night I snuggled in and turned on the TV for my Sunday drool fest of watching Bill Paxton in Big Love.   About half-way through I found my stomach not feeling so hot.  I tried to ignore it and follow the plot, but it got stronger and stronger.  Dagnamit! I think I am getting what my two petri dishes had the latter part of the week! 

I finished the show and headed upstairs and went to bed.   I laid there negotiating with my new visitor, but old nemesis, Linda Blair who was sitting on my bed,  that since I had hyperemesis (extreme morning sickness) during both of my pregnancies for a combined 50 plus weeks that I paid my dues of having stomach ailments and that she needs to move along to another house, preferably to the a-hole that cut me off in the rain driving like a jackalope. 

She stayed and proceeded to move closer and closer to me.  I practiced meditating (that by the way is a total crock and don’t waste your time), breathed through the nausea and prayed that I was not going to be reliving the wonderful Sunday dinner I made that night. 

Now she is sitting on top of me, just like she did when I was pregnant!  I am sweating, the room is spinning and my stomach is on fire, but I am determined I am not going to toss my cookies.  That only pissed her off and now she has somehow managed to reach in and twist my insides and jump up and down on my stomach at the same time. ” Uncle! Uncle!”, I screamed as I sprinted to the bathroom and  . . . I don’t need to get that graphic, you all get what just happened. 

That whole scenario went on four more times until the around 4 am.  Finally Linda Blair lost interests in me and headed off to bother some other petri dish infected house or newly pregnant woman. 

I laid there exhausted and a little traumatized that I did this day in and day out 24-hours a day for weeks months on end and one of the pregnancies I was caring for an infant/toddler without help outside of the hubs that had to work everyday and leave me with that wretched Linda Blair, my IV bag and my infant who turned into a toddler while I was still going through it.  I found out this morning, the hubs laid there traumatized reliving our hell in his head too.

This morning when I woke up I had that same stomach flu nausea feeling that set the pace for each and every waking minute of my day while incubating my two kids. With two miscarriages with no symptoms of being pregnant, I knew both times with my two viable pregnancies that they were sticking by how sick I was.   I had a moment of confusion and can I say dispair, was I pregnant again?  That can’t be, I shut the plant down during the birth of PD2! 

Borrowed from blog buddy,Your Personal Super Hero!

I looked at the bottom of my bed and she was not there, Linda Blair that is.  Oh, thank God!  I am at the tail end of the stomach flu! I got up, got dressed and forced myself down stairs and started my day and even mopped my floors. 

I feel pretty crappy and my stomach is pretty unhappy, but hey, I not only survived Linda Blair last night, but I survived her for over a year and half of my life with both pregnancies combined.  Nothing could ever be that bad, so Linda Blair may of won last night, but she is not going to win today!

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Added Course to University of Grocery Cart Management

Please click twice on picture (image) to enlarge to view.

My dear blogging buddy, The Life of Jamie has recently formed a nationally recognized university called, The University of Grocery Cart Management.  I was asked to come on as one of the faculty members offering a course  Parking Lot Navigation ( GCM 204) mainly for my recent research finding on parking lot navigation etiquette.  While preparing for this class, I came across an immediate reason for a  prerequisite class to GMC 204.  This course will be offered immediately and is titled, Get Your Head Out of Your Gluteus Maximus and READ the Signs (GCM 204.a).

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The Hubs

 

* I am using an image of Peter Krause since many have said that the hubs looks very much like this actor.  Peter’s current role in Parenthood, actually not only looks like the hubs, but reminds me of the hubs.   Except the hubs is not nearly as uptight.

Well, I guess it is time to introduce the guy that is behind the name of Pie Hole, that would be my best friend, thorn in my side, the one that can push all my buttons and at the end of the day I somehow like him enough that I don’t poison his food. 

This is the man who took on a challenge me (I still think he may have lost a bet somewhere down the line) and has been the best thing that ever happened to me outside of my kids, but without him I wouldn’t have them, so that makes him the BEST thing that ever happened to me. 

He can put the Pie Hole in its place and make me laugh like no other. 

He has integrity that I strive to model.

He is tight  good with money to the point I am almost certain my over a carat diamond engagement ring was once a piece of coal (if you don’t know how he could have made a diamond from a piece of coal,  please crawl out from under that rock).

He is the most amazing daddy to my girls and it brings tears to my eyes to see this amazing bond he has with them.  He is the bar that they will set for their future partners and that is a very high bar. 

He wants to run and hid when emotional issues surface (God has a sick sense of humor in trying to stretch us, he was given nothing but girls, even the dog.)  Can’t wait till the puberty years hit this house.

He is someone I admire and respect.  He respects me and cherishes me.  We see eye to eye on most everything and those we don’t we can still listen and respect each other in our stance.

He is a MacGyver  in every sense of the word.  That man can fix and do anything.  

He has a sassy mouth and has a sarcasm that can outdo me. 

He wears MC Hammer jam pants still when he lounges and it amuses many of my friends.  He actually will go out of his way to put on a pair when one girlfriend comes over. 

His friendships are deep and long and he is respected and successful at his work.

He is the current president of the National Nerd Herd Association, and noting is more exciting than having a house full of Mechanical Engineers on a Saturday night (seriously) It is like an episode of Jack- Ass meets Myth Busters without the stupid 12-year-old toilet humor.

I hit jack pot when I ran off to Vegas and committed my life to him at the “Garden of Love” wedding chapel.  He is the only stable thing I ever had in my life outside of my God-given drive to be a strong and independent person. 

He is my Polaris, my North Star.  Always there never-failing and always shining.

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Free 2 Work!

I have  a good friend that has humanitarian as part of her DNA.  She is a child psychologist that focuses on PTSD in children and young adults.  She has led teams to Shir Lanka 6 weeks post the devastating tsunami and then did follow-up six months later.  She has traveled the world working with oppressed and traumatized people.  Recently she headed off to South East Asia to work with orphanages and safe havens for those that are fighting to stay off the radar of human trafficking and sold into sex and other forms of slavery.   This developed a passion that she is taking on and doing something about.

Currently she is trying to raise around 40k to build a safe haven for those that have their mark on them to be sold into the sex industry of South East Asia.  This is a place where these kids will live, grow up and be educated and protected from those, mostly family members, from being auctioned off for pennies on the dollar to be prostituted out at young as the age of five. 

Unfortunately, it does not just stop in the remote parts of the world.  It is here in the US in a very serious way.  There is a big question of the millions of  illegals that are in the this nation, how many are here against their will with death threats to themselves and their families if they do not comply with those that they fell into the hand of for trafficking and slavery.  There have been several sting operations that have been successful in my county alone within “massage” parlors and drug houses that is clear evidence that this is happening here on our soil.  

It just does not stop there with the US and the world having some responsibility in this issue.  Companies that take their business overseas  or across the border for a higher profit are not holding up their end of the deal on ensuring a realistic work environment that ensures safety and humane working conditions. They are not holding up their end of the deal to ensure that children are not being born into indentured families and having to work in insane work environments as early as the age of five or seven years of age.  

Free 2 Work is an organization that is slowly setting up a resource for consumers to be able to make informed decisions on the products they are chosing to buy and be able to boycott the ones that are not holding up their end of the deal of ensuring safety and humane treatment of the people who make or are a part of the manufacturing of that product.  It is graded from A-F on the US standards of manufacturing.  Obviously we can’t hold other countries to our standards, we can’t even do that without killing the profits of a company (that why is we send a vast majority overseas or across the border to be manufactured).  However, this website seems to be realistic in the fact that an A to a C- rating are companies that we can still do business with.  Those lower than that, need to get their act together and stop looking away from crimes on humanity. 

They have developed an application for your smart phone where you can scan an item and get a rating, that can help with making informed choices and not being part of enabling companies being able to profit and get away with bad horrifing business practices. 

This is something we all should think about;  it is our fiduciary responsibility as consumers to think about it. If you knew for a fact that the shirt or sneakers you are wearing were made by a child that was 5 years old or anyone of any age for that matter,  working 16-18 hours a day, never seeing the light of day, beaten, on machinery that exposes to radiation and/or no safety guards in place where there are daily amputees and serious injuries would you really want to support a company’s profits and wear that? 

Learning about this has changed our household and how we look at products before we buy them.  I wanted to get a Leap Frog toy for my child, and I will not now that I know they have a D- rating.  I love Carter’s children’s clothing, especially their jammies, but they get an F because they will not respond or communicate their business practices (which means they don’t feel they have a responsibility to be transparent to the consumer providing them their profits).  

 Free 2 Work is a good starting point on trying to make a difference in how consumers of the world hold companies accountable to just being humane. 

 http://free2work.org/home

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A Little Sap, Laughs, and Disco!

The Idiot posted a very lovely and touching post last week.  He has touched so many people, including myself, through the power of modern-day ink via cyber space .  He is not only HILARIOUS, he is a good friend and champion to many of us.  

He has expressed that he has his battles, and prevailing might I add, with the “D” word, yet he brings such joy and support to those that read him.  I feel he gives 100% of himself to his audience and his following is proof in that pudding.

I know that this is not much, but  I want to do something special for the Idiot to just say thank you for making us laugh, cry, snort our coffee out of our noses, hold our hands over our faces while at work, wet ourselves,  and most of all just have a good old belly laugh, stomach pains and all! 

 I noticed I have not seen much of his beloved DISCO go viral on his blog lately, so I am dedicating this song to the Idiot! It is the most fitting disco song I could find to fit his mold (for the record, this is one of the very few disco songs that can coax me onto the dance floor with out much booze or pushing – gotta love this song!).  Thank you Idiot,  for the sap, the laughs and the disco!

Last order of business before singing off, I was published again via Blissfully Domestic.  Please check it out and support a starving writer (I even did my own photography)!

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Top Ten Reasons Why Cyber Monday is Better than Black Friday!

Well, I am back, and Top Ten Tuesday’s will be kicked back into gear with one of my favorite holiday past times, Cyber Mondays!  Thanks to the Idiot, he was the inspiration of this post.  My experience was a polar opposite of his. There were no error messages or having to toss the computer around.  However, there was a ton of chain-smoking and caffeine involved!

Need I Say More?

Black Friday- Really People Enjoy This?Need I Say More?

                                                                                                                                               VS.

Nothing but a Zen Moment!

10.  No one has to get up after eating turkey the day prior at some ungodly hour (2 am) and have to load up on a huge amount to of caffeine to try to counter act the tryptophan effect!

9.  You are not having to stand obscenely close to strangers that smell funny.  Trust me, what Thanksgiving meals do to some people should never be relived, especially in a “boob to back line”!

8.  You get to stay home in the comfort of your jammies and look stupid doing it, but no one cares.  Seriously people! If you have time to put make up on, you have time to put some friggin’ normal clothes on! Jammies only look cute on 2 year olds, not middle-aged women.

7. The only risk of injury is carpel tunnel, not being trampled to death by an obsessive mob wanting the one of three dancing Mickey Mouse dolls, that will only drive you crazy after the first hour of the box being opened.

6. Coffee always tastes better at home.

5. I can be at my favorite ten stores at the same time!

4. I can yell at my kids with “Leave Mommy alone, go play!” and, ” Don’t bother me, Mommy is shopping right now!” without anyone giving me the evil eye of my bad parenting moment.

3. I don’t have to worry about the risk of my kiddos finding out  what “Santa” gets them. It comes to my door in a box and goes straight to the attic until Christmas Eve wrap-a-thone!

2. I am guaranteed not having to schlep all the gifts for out-of-town friends and family to the post office, stand in line for most of the holiday season and pay an enormous shipping fee.  With one click of the mouse that whole experience fades away and it is always free shipping!

1.  The only holiday season a–holes I have to deal with are the over exhausted, but very attractive UPS/FED EX drivers, which a plate of cookies and bottled water  remedies any ill feeling towards my address.

Happy holidays to all your fantastic blog buddies!

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Don’t Bother Me, I’m Napping!

We are getting ready to leave for our Thanksgiving family vacation! I have the bags packed, the mail organized the house cleaned, the dog/house sitter arranged and the neighbors notified of our contact info and whereabouts while we are gone.   We also had to go and get a real alarm system installed on our house because our “watch dog” would rather be napping all day (seriously, that  is what she does all day, everyday) than fiercely protecting her domain and her people that dwell within its four walls. 

She is very particular on her nap environment, she must have a blanket down on the couch to cuddle up with and she has to have a pillow to lay her doggie princess head on. If we cover her up, she is in blissful heaven and actually purrs like a cat. So now, this 50 lb lap- dog- pound- puppy rules the roost in regards that her masters had to get an alarm system because heaven forbid a burglar attempts to break in and interrupt her beloved nappy time.  Yes, we are not dog owners, we are owned by our dog.

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