A Return To Soap Box Sundays!

* Sad but have to weekly disclaimer: If you don’t like what I have to say, don’t read it. If you chose to and still don’t like what I have to say and want to respond, please be civil and appropriate.  I love feedback of all points of view.  🙂

Technology 2 Early?

Today I was browsing the net looking for what PD1 wants for her 3rd b-day on price comparing.  She actually wants the Fisher Price Wheelies Stand and Play Ramp with all the different cars to race her sister and her dad with.  I was a bit surprised since she is very much a girly girl, but hey, I LOVED Hot Wheels when I was little and had the garage that had the cool elevator and I think I turned out a fairly OK. 

While ‘googling’ (apparently, that is a new verb) this toy, I can across this toy, Fisher Price Laugh and Learn iCan Play case for an iPhone or iTouch so your little one can play with your iPhone or iTouch for the toddler and pre-school ages and  I was floored.  I have a group of friends that did get their two and half-year olds iTouches for Christmas, while I got PD1 a doll house and pretend kitchen toys.   That whole thing troubled me when I heard that and now I see that this is a growing trend!

I get that there is an obvious market for this, since it was named as a top toy to get at a Toy Fair in New York, but really parents!  Can’t we keep these kids, kids for a little bit longer?  Do we now not only have to see the 6-10 year old completely disengaged from his or her surroundings while playing on theirs DS or Gameboy, even at the Happiest Place on Earth or the local zoo, but now we have to watch the night of the living toddlers zombied out on their parents’ iPhones. 

I know that this is the sign of the times in the case of technology, but I think I was born in the wrong era.  I just joined the Smart Phone and Facebook party and I am not sure I like either that much.   The thought of being connected all the time to someone, something and somewhere is a bit overwhelming.  I am totally guilty of “unplugging” for days on end and if someone really wants to get a hold of me, they can ring me the good old fashion way.

I guess what bothers me about this new technology trend of getting them exposed early is all the arguments I hear that this builds good eye-hand coordination, helps with learning and developing fine motor skills and reading.   I don’t buy that a $250-$500 technolgy device that is designed for adult use is something that is for pre-schoolers to use for learning or entertainment.  I feel, in most cases, not all cases (I think some of my close buds feel as stongly about exposing them to current technology as I do about sheltering them), it is an item a parent can give to a kid to distract them so they can do what they want to do and somehow justify it to themselves that it is educational to make them feel better.  Once again dodging being a hands on parent.  

How about, unplug, disconnect and throw a ball, take a walk, enjoy the animals at the zoo, get out the paints, the tea party set, Play-Doh, Legos,  building blocks or even a cardboard box and decorate it like a car and play pretend?  Those are real things that teach all the above arguments and one other thing that I think is the most important of all that the iPhone can’t teach and that is, SOCIAL SKILLS.  

Before I get off my soap box I have one last thing to say, when the world  starts scratching their heads on why we can’t work, live and play well with each other and thumbs and index fingers have arthritis at the ripe old age of 30, don’t be surprised that I will tell you, “I told you so”.  Balance, moderation and restraint on growing up your kids too fast is what I feel is the key.

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The Start of Soapbox Sundays

On Sundays I like to read the local paper, let’s just call it the Boca Breeze or otherwise known as “Boca Commie Rag” for all of you Seinfeld Fans.  In doing that I usually get all spun around with the print that is jumping off the pages at me.  My heart rate starts pumping, my hair stands on end and the hubs has to hear my pie hole flap on overdrive about something that I  feel very strongly about. Most of the time the hubs and I agree on everything, which makes it nice for keeping the “domestics” down,there are things that just make my blood boil that he really does not care about and then it enrages me more that he does not see how important the issue is regardless of what side anyone is on.  This is when he tells me go write a book about it.  Well, this forum is not exactly a book forum, but it is a writing forum and now you all are subject to my flapping pie hole or should I rephrase, my typing with great passion and zeal!  Hence the birth of Soapbox Sundays!  

(I wish I didn’t have to put this disclaimer) I understand and respect that people stand on different sides of issues with great passion.   If you like or dislike my point of view, I welcome respectful and well educated points of view (do your research and that is not talking head media or forums like the View, Trya, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, GMC, TMZ, etc – meaning research even what they are saying).   Maybe someone can change my mind and maybe my soapbox can change someone’s point of view. I do feel the more I learn and know the more I realize I don’t know and I am open to hearing all points of views; I feel that makes me a very well rounded person.  That is not saying that some of my convictions I will cling to, but I will always be open hearing what each side has to say.

First Soapbox Sunday issue . . . HOME BIRTHS, A SELFISH CHOICE

“At the end of the day, hospitals are for sick people, and I’m not sick,” said Jacobowitz-Kelly. “I’m going through one of the most natural processes women can go through, so why do it anywhere other than the most natural setting — my home.”   This is an on going quote that I hear in regards to home births and promoting this choice.  Well, let’s talk about that.  Child birth has solid risks involved, you can bleed out, your blood pressure can rise or fall, your body may not be equipped to get out a baby, you can form an infection, and I assume there are more woman based complications that can arise while birthing that child you have put in the time to have.  Now for the baby complications, there can be all kinds of cord issues, the baby can ingest meconium,  there can be presentation issues where the baby can NOT be delivered vaginally because they are breech or trying to push through the pelvic bone, the baby may not be able to tolerate the contractions because they are smothering or essentially crushing them, they can have poor respiratory  issues and fluid in the lungs, and many more things that an go wrong at the eleventh hour where now mother, baby or both are now placed in “sick, needing medical intervention” status.  

I found a site that is put out by the American Pregnancy Organization that states that 875k woman experience pregnancy related complications, 467k  babies are born premature, 307k  babies are at low birth weight and 154k are born with birth defects.  I understand there are many in this group that are probably not considered “life threatening”, but all of these stats are situations needed some sort of medical assessment and treatment.   Those are big numbers and that speaks volumes to me.

 All the statistics in regards of  Hospital Births vs. Home Births are on a shaky note,  seems no one wants to commit or there is not enough data. There are stats that state that there is a  30% C-section rate in the US, and that is the reason for the rise in mortality of mothers, yet they are leaving out that there are older women having babies and more obese women having babies which bring in a whole other layer of complexity.  C-sections seem to becoming a scapegoat to the pro- home birthing communities. 

In most of my research it is all about the mother’s right to her birth plan that the home birthing communities is defending, not what is best for the baby.   This boggles my mind, being a woman that HAD to have a C-section with my first child because she was a complete breech and she was NOT going to turn around and my cord was exposed to collapsing in the birth canal, essentially cutting off the life supply to my child , if and when my water broke.  I also have a friend that would still be pushing her son out three years later, because of his presentation. In my small circle of friends and acquaintances all of the listed above complications has been a factor in someone’s delivery process.  If you, the reader, truly sit down and take stock in the birth stories you have had heard in you circle of influence you could probably check off a many of those as well. The bottome line is holding vigil on a woman’s right to her birth plan is not going to save lifes.

That is why when I hear the quote that hospitals are for sick people it is like nails on a chalkboard.  It is been proven to be medically safer to go to the hospital to have babies. That is why the majority does it.  There are not insurance and doctor agendas, OB’s pay the highest amount of malpractice insurance than any other practitioners.  Why is that?  It is because when things go wrong, they are bad and someone is either dead or seriously injured and when babies start dying or are permanently injured emotions go awry.  I understand that.  I also understand that because of the lawsuit happy land we live in doctors do practice medicine in “defensive” mode. Eighty percent of the tests given today are “CYA” motivated.  I know that with my two pregnancies I had tests and scans that did not really need to be done, but thankfully with both kids they found out I had serious issues during an “un-needed and additional” scan that saved my kids life and/or quality of life. 

I find that may of those that promote home births are the same people that will march in the “Right to Life” rallies and be the first to argue pro-choice with anyone, yet they are willing to compromise the safety and health of their child for a selfish conviction of not wanting “medical professionals to run their birth plans”.  I just don’t understand that thought process,  to me it is as if they are a walking contradiction.  I also find that if things went wrong at home, those women would give anything to reverse the outcome, meaning have that baby at the hospital.  They are not standing by their home birth convictions any longer and that should be a big red flag for women toying with the ideal of home birthing.

As you can tell I have a BIG opinion about this, I even have been published in my local newspaper regarding this issue.  When I hear that someone is trying to take away the legitimacy of what an OB is telling them to do for the best outcome for them and the baby based on known risks or if they are part of this home birth community, I think they are selfish and in many ways very ignorant to the realities of this harsh world; I feel they are choosing to play Russian roulette with life.   It is hard enough to carry a baby to full term without complications, why make it harder? 

I feel that child birth is a beautiful thing and if you are the lucky majority that gets to have normal, non-complicated births, more power to you. However, let the natural process of child birth be monitored by the professional and allow yourself and that child, that you work so hard to carry, have the best medical interventions ready and available if things start to go sideways.  Sacrificing and being selfless of your ideals and wants is what parenting is all about, it should to start from day one of that child’s life.

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