Last Sunday night a show hit the air ways of America via TLC called “Sister Wives”. The trailers struck my interest long before airing since I have a huge fascination with polygamy. Do not misunderstand my fascination for anything other than I am a theology major and religion in general fascinates me. I have read almost anything out there regarding the FLDS and am an avid fan of “Big Love”. Also the thought of having the support and help that “sister wives” bring sounds like a dream, if I could only come to terms of sharing my husband, which I could never do.
The show embraces the reality of the “life style” of this family of four wives and sixteen children. They are self-supporting and have quite the set up of how they run the daily goings on of the family. I did some digging and there are many families that are in the same exact set up as these folks. They are not living on compounds, not abusing their children, they are not raping the welfare system, and their children are raised with a huge work ethic, a sence of love and security which makes them able to be kind and loving to the outside world. They are just good, hard-working Americans that believe in plural marriage as one of the major foundations of their faith. Not that I agree with it, but it is their faith. They are not impacting anyone but themselves.
The thing is polygamy is illegal and this family has now found themselves under investigation and may be prosecuted at a felony level. If this happens this family will be torn apart, thrown in prison, the kids will be shipped off to an already over crowded and poor functioning foster care system and no one really wins. The kids lose their family, they are no longer paying their share of taxes, and the tax payers are now picking up the dime to now support all twenty-one people who were not really doing anything but be strange and “immoral” to many Americans that can’t even organize their own life. Essentially these twenty-one lives are now a drain on society and we put them there by legislation that is none of our business.
If Americans would take that energy of fighting for these kinds of legislations and put it towards regulating the welfare system, fighting to keep manufacturing here within the states, and hold the heads of education accountable, maybe we would have people willing to really go to work and be responsible for themselves. We would have jobs and would not depend on nor worry about other countries. Finally, we would have well-educated kids.
In researching this, I found out that the Libertarian Party is trying to decriminalize polygamy in the same manner they are fighting for same-sex marriages. They believe that government should not regulate marriages. That made me think long and hard about my fundamental beliefs and I have to say I concur. The older I become, the more of a Libertarian I am developing into. I asked myself the question, “Do the choices of the polygamist or same-sex partners impact me in any way?” No, as long as they are not a drain on society or intentionally hurting someone, it is none of my business on the choices they make for themselves. Those choices that they make are between them and their maker. There are plenty of heterosexual single marriages that do more damage to the welfare system, their children, themselves and others to argue this point for polygamists and gays.
Yes, both cross many “moral” belief systems but it is not our right nor place to police that. We are not to judge or throw stones at other’s choices as long as they are not hurting others in any physical or financial way. I feel that we do things very backwards in this country and look at the condition we are in! On one hand we want separation of church and state, yet on the other hand we want the state to rule with a church perspective and yet not allow anyone to be accountable for themselves and their choices.
Some would think I am contradicting myself when it comes to me saying I don’t want a lot of government imput, yet I feel it is the government’s responsibility to hold those on welfare accountable and to make home birth’s illegal (I will address home births in a later post).
I have huge issue with people intentionally having kids on welfare or even being on welfare when they are deemed able to get out and work and function on a normal cognitive and physical level. I feel that if the parties that choose to be on welfare willing place themselves as wards of the state and the state should have the right to regulated funds and choices they make since it costs the tax payers. I feel that if you have a kid on welfare you must be on birth control in order to get the funds. Also, welfare is just a bridge to a better life, not a way of life for years and years. There should be a max and when it is done and you face the consequences of taking responsiblity for yourself and your family. If you can’t , you lose them and the state is not going to bail you out; homelessness and losing your kids is your rock bottom. The thought to loss to most motivates and kicks people into gear more than anything. Again, I stress these scenarios are for those that are deemed able to truly take care of themselves.
My grandmother, a woman who survived the Great Depression, always told me that the biggest help I could find is at the end of my arms. She had no hand outs, she had to work at a very young age to contribute to her neighbors and her family so they would not starve and guess what, she died a very wealthy woman. She knew what it took to survive and work hard and applied that her whole life and it passed down onto three generations (my kids being the third).
The bottom line is, if you are not putting anyone innocent at risk, you are not physically causing harm to others or their resources it is none of our business. Let the gays marry, leave the polygamists alone and take care of and be accountable of yourself and those within your four walls.
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A Piece of the Pie Hole 