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Posts Tagged ‘kids’

So Mother’s Day is right around the corner, if this was your first indication of that, you are in a pretty sticky situation.   I have always wondered why if you forget Mother’s Day it is far worse of a crime, almost unforgivable, than forgetting Father’s Day.  Maybe it is because we, mothers, carry you nine long months, all the while puking our brains out, and having our bodies turn into the close replica of the local “Holiday Inn”.   Then we have the pleasure of either having to push out or reenact the infamous Alien scene in birthing an 8 pound bowling ball. 

Then there are the endless nights of the lack of sleep, diapers, and vomit flu fests.  Let’s not forget to mention being the sucker that drew the shortest straw and now has to drive you and four of your troglodyte peers to and from practice for the season and then has the joys of having to fill in as the “team laundry” mom since the coach wants to save money. 

These said hardships are only the tip of the iceberg of what moms endure for the sake of loving her kids.  Most of  us never complain, unless we have a blog to carry that burden, and we take our job seriously.  So, if you forgot that special mom, get your butt in gear and go take care of business in doing something that shows her that you appreciate her and the role that she had in your life.  Buying a card isn’t going to cut it. 

If you are still stumped, you can go on over to my recent cold hard cash published piece for a few ideas (yes, I am tooting my horn… TOOT, TOOT!) that is on the new and updated Blissfully Domestic  web-based magizine. 

Good luck and may I only hear of wonderful “Mama is happy” stories come Monday!

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I am in back-to-back birthday party hell mode this month.  It seems all my friends that are really close to me are having birthday parties for their little ones that are in the same age range as PD1 and PD2.   It is one of those things that you know you need to do to be a good friend and to encourage your kids to enjoy.  Let’s be honest here, if  all you parents sit down and truly assess the whole “other” kid birthday parties, you would have to agree most of you would rather watch paint dry, have hemorrhoid surgery or endure physical therapy (that’s for you, Idiot) than have to sit through a weekend afternoon with the results of other people’s bad parenting mistakes kids.  This is the inspiration to my Top Ten Tuesday!

10.  You get the invitation for a 3-year-old birthday party that says “NO GIFTS” or “Only Educational Toys Please”.  Seriously, it is a kid’s birthday party!  If I have to go to it at least let me go pick out the most cool but  annoyingly loud and obnoxious toy and relish in the fact that it is not at my house.  And really, aren’t all toys educational?  Heck even “adult toys” have some level of educational value to them!

9.  The party starts right smack in the middle of nap time hours.  Oh joy! Nothing excites me more that sleep deprived toddlers hopped up on sugar! 

8.  No booze.  OK, I get it is for the kids, but if it is a party that requires me to have to schlep two kids, by myself, and all the swag that goes along with it, then go sit and watch the organized chaos, or not, for two hours, shouldn’t I be at least rewarded with a glass of wine or cocktail?  Again, it all goes back to booze makes everything better.

7. Gift Bags.  I get that is nice to have a little parting prize for the kiddos but do we have to try to reenact the Oscar’s after-party swag bags?  A sandbox bucket, a thing of bubbles and a sticker is more than enough!  Even though the gesture is nice, the toddler did not need a cruise on Carnival along with the bucket and few sand toys.

6.  Games.  Having small children try to play musical chairs is a lot like trying to herd cats. Again, I have a lot more patience for that, with a cocktail in my hand! 

5. Cake.  Now, I love cake!  I love to make cakes!  At this age cupcakes are the way to go.  Nothing is harder to manage than a piece of cake for two small children.  At least with a cupcake, it is a finger food and can be manhandled and tolerate the mutilation a small child can bring upon the situation.  Clean up is still bad, just not as nearly as bad.

4.  Rain.  NOTHING is worse than being cooped up in a house with ten small children and their parents all hopped up on sugar, not napped and stir crazy.  Again, where is my cocktail?

3. No Bounce House/Jolly Jump.  Pulling up to a party, nothing is more relieving for me to see  than a Bounce House/Jolly Jump.  I actually get some mingle time and the kids will sleep like champs that night!  Oh, bless the creator of the Bounce House/Jolly Jump.

2. No Opening of the Presents.  What?  That is the best part!  Sure it makes the kids a bit antsy and some may feel left out, but IT IS NOT THEIR BIRTHDAY!  This is the first lesson on self-control and being happy on the outside even though you are green with envy on the inside and want to kick that kid’s ass for getting cooler toys than you have.  I love seeing the expression of the kid as he/she opens the gift we took all the time and effort to get, wrap and drag to the party.  I have also noticed it brings a very early stage of  joy to PD2 to see that her little buddy liked what she got them. Maybe I am a freak, but I love giving more than receiving! Get you minds out of the gutters, this a post about kid birthday parties!

1. Other People’s Kids.  Need I say more?

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Yesterday I found out that the city of San Fransisco passed an ordinance that fast food chains could not include a toy in their kid’s meals if they do not meet certain nutritional requirements.  This was passed by an 8-3 vote and will go into effect in 2011. I truly live in a state that is a few french fries short of a full Happy Meal!

“Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.”  Former President Ronald Regan. 

Regardless if you like his politics or not, that quote makes  sence.  Why is the government infringing on the rights of a private company in doing business?  Essentially they are taking away the freedom of not only the company to offer goods to the consumer, but the rights away from the citizens of San Fransisco or any American that visits that city.  I like to use Happy Meals as a special treat to PD1 and I have a right to be able to exercise my right as a FREE American to do so. 

Happy Meals are not something that should be demonized as “bad”.  They are not bad, they are fun and exciting for kids and parents.  If we start demonizing the Happy Meal to the problems of childhood obesity, then you are opening a huge can of worms on a lot of products that are out there.  If you think the “food police” that is trying to birth “Food Law” will stop here, you are only kidding yourself.  I like junk food from time to time, I do not want anyone telling me when, how or what I can have.  Some would probably say that is the Libertarian in me, I say it is the American in me coming out.

 It is not the McDonald’s of  America that is making our kids fat.  I feel it is a  cumulation of  five things that are making these kids fat, which all points back to parent/guardian responsibility for their kids.   

1).  Parent’s not taking the nutritional responsibility of their kids.  The fact that San Fransisco feels that they have to pass laws on private companies to keep kids out of obesity trouble is abominable.  I know that there is an argument that areas of more economic challenge tends to breed bad and cheap food choices, but I was one of those kids growing up in poverty and I was not eating McDonald’s or other fast food options.  We ate home cooked meals made by a step- mother that worked three jobs. Sure, it was not organic or top quality, but it was full of a  balanced nutrition and that was before WIC was ever put into place. 

2.)  Kid’s no longer know how to play.  They just know how to play video games and watch TV.  Some of this has to do with fear based ideas that there are predators lurking around every corner.  Most incidents come from inside the family/friend circle.  It is very rare to have an outsider be a predator. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not comfortable to just letting my kids go willy nilly in the neighborhood, but if more families would let their kids out to play there is safety in numbers.  As a kid, I traveled in a pack, outside of the few kid related dramas of bones, scrapped knees and disagreements all was harmonious and fun.   I guarantee that I burned hundreds of calories riding my bike  and running around with my buddies.

3.)  Snacks need to be more realistic in size and in food options.  We were a poor family, but eating just an apple was a filing snack.   A couple of crackers with peanut butter was a snack, and an orange was a snack. These snack options would tied me over to the next meal just fine.  It is amazing what a “snack” constitutes these days.  It is equivalent to a meal calorie wise.  I take my PD1 to a mommy and me class setting and we have “snack time”.  I see these other two-year olds eating so much for a snack and then loaded up with fruit juice.  If one feeds their kids a snack that are high in content and calories a couple of times a day, in addition to three meals they are going to set their kids up to being fat.

4.) It is not an option for Physical Education to be the first to be cut when budgets gets weakParent’s should be holding the school board accountable of keeping a balance of education.  This meaning keeping art, music, and physical education that is the glue that binds the core subjects together.  Hey, their taxes are paying for it.  

In my observation it appears more class room behavioral problems surface when those three subjects are booted out.  It also un-nerves me to see the school administration say that they are doing all they can in their power to better the education of the kids even with all of these hard economic times. Really?   School is about the kids, right?   Then cut the administration salaries and give it back to the school so these programs stay alive.  If you ever been to Los Angeles Unified School District Administration building in downtown, you understand that LAUSD is very top-heavy and could use some serious re-structuring and salary readjustments.

5.) Parent’s going back to the grass-roots of fast food being a treat.  Fast food should never be  a quick and easy fix to feeding your kid for the day.   Parent’s need to take control of the situation.  So what if your kid wants fast food every night, it does not mean that you comply.  You can feed your kids quick and inexpensive meals at home. 

A whole wheat tortilla, cheese, tomatoes, refried black beans, brown rice burritos takes about the same time to make as sitting in the drive thru. You can even can make extras and freeze them for a “quick pop in the microwave need”.  I did a quick break down of this choice that many kids get at Taco Bell and it literally costs a total of $15.oo for all the  ingredients that would make about 12 burritos. That comes to about $1.25 per burritos.  I included instant brown rice which cooks up in the microwave in 90 seconds, the beans heat up in the microwave in about 2 minutes and assembling the burritos (all twelve of them) would take about ten minutes.  That comes to about 15 minutes to have an immediate meal and 11 more for the future. 

Yesterday, I  also did a test  going through the McDonald’s drive -thru during an “off-peak” time and it was seven minutes (during peak times one should add about 3-5 minutes to that).  The time between the two are just a few minutes. Therefore, the rationalization that I have heard from parents that it is cheaper and faster to resort to fast food is an excuse and a lazy one at that.  The bottom line is there are many more meals that can be made at home that are cheap, quick and has a good nutritional value.  There are no excuses!

It is the parent’s that are responsible for this problem,  not the fast food industry.  Just taking out a toy from a Happy Meal is not going to keep the kids from eating Happy Meals, eating ice cream from Dairy Queen, or having frozen milk shakes and burgers from Sonic.  It is time to teach our kids self-control, making good choices, and being accountable. 

Teaching our kids that it is OK for government establishments to put unreasonable and non-successful “smack down ordinance laws”  is only teaching them that freedom has its limitations when someone views it as” not good for you”.   Fast food is not bad for you if you do it in moderation, it is bad for you if you do it all the time.  To much of anything is not good for anyone.  To much TV is bad, too much studying is bad, even too much water can be bad. 

We are wired to have self-control and responsiblity be our guide.  We are smart and intelligent beings, we are  people who should understand natural logical consequences and face those  consequences if you make bad choices.   What is next, they take all  cookies, chips, crackers, soft drinks, ice cream and candy out of the grocery stores if it does not meet nutritional guidelines!

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OK, I cry UNCLE!  For the past twenty-four hours I have been dealing with vomit, vomit, and more vomit!  Seriously!  My 13-month old, PD2, has decided to test out the 24- hour bug on me starting yesterday at while at a play date which continued on into today. 

Here it is 7:20 pm and in the past twenty -four hours have done three additional loads of laundry, three showers with me included, since I have been the absorption of much of the volume,  had four hours of sleep,  disinfected every toy in the house (yes, I do ALL the toys anytime a serious plague strikes Camp Pie Hole) and on a good note, I am completely caught up on Top Chef and Top Chef Just Desserts, thanks to having to snuggle the little patient for hours.  

Those who say motherhood/parenthood is a treasure and one should cherish every moment are not parents of small children that have ever been sick.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining.  I get that this comes with the territory of having small children, but three weeks of sickness in this camp! Come on!  I am just calling a truce via my blog with the “Petri Dish gods” that Camp Pie Hole is done with this nonsense and the white flag is waving high and strong! Oh, God, I hope that PD1 doesn’t get it . . . oh well, I have more crap to catch up on the trusted ol’ DVR.

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If you have been reading my blog, (there is about four of you – thank you!) you have noticed that I have been using the words “petri dish” a lot.  One thing I have noticed while reading other fellow bloggers is that they give their kids and spouses nicknames to “protect the innocent”.   Perpetually Peeved named her kids “Smalls” and and “Biggie”  Conflicted Mean Girl named her kid “Boogie”, both are two blogging moms I like.  

In that spirit I decided that my two blessed children, who are ages one and two, will be given the names of Petri Dish 1 (PD1) and Petri Dish 2 (PD2).  I know that is not as creative as some of my counter parts, but when the shoe fits wear it!    Two weeks ago we started  a week mommy and me school once a week and since then we have been under attack of a bad cold, bronchitis, and sinus infections. Currently in Camp Pie Hole the invasion of the “petri dish” continues!  We are now under the attack of a possible positive strep culture from PD 2 (we will find out the results this afternoon) which means PD1  more that likely will follow suit. 

Those that know me well, knows I have the tolerance for germs the way either side has on the Gaza Strip has for each other.  So when Camp Pie Hole is under attack of unwanted germs, I have my arsenal of Clorox products working in full force; thank God for Costco!   My hands are chapped and dried out do to the overuse of the product.  For some reason I think that I can rewind the infestation of what the little slimy petri dish hands brought to the table, chairs, walls, couches, toys and etc.  It drives the hubs crazy, but he knows just to let me obsess rather than try to intervene since I may start wiping him down with Clorox wipes. 

It is only the beginning of Cold and Flu season, it is going to be a long fall and winter and I should probably buy stock in Clorox.

(1??lbs – too sick to care to check the weight, even though I know I have lost some, check back tomorrow.)

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The  inspiration behind this Top Ten Tuesday was being haul up for 4-days with the first really bad flu/cold I have had in 3 years!

10.  Even though the hubs tries hard to be helpful, you know that when you surface you will have a mess to contend with.

9.    The laundry does not get done.

8.   The house does not get clean.

7.  Motherhood equals instant  immunity to NyQuil (seriously it no longer works for me and I check the expiration date!)

6.  If the kids are sick you are really screwed.

5.  The kids develop diaper rash since you can’t smell the deposit.

4.  Being hauled up in bed with a remote with a 102 degree fever, chills, sore throat and can’t breath is not my idea of rest. Who wants to watch TV when their head is about to explode and they think they are about to die?

3.  No one wants to come and help out for the fear of catching the plague too!

2.  Mommy’s can’t truly call in sick.

1.  It is just days away of the hubs showing signs and symptoms of him catching this and the world that we know it will be over!

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