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Posts Tagged ‘Disneyland’

As promised I am posting part two of the Halloween disaster at Disneyland  from a couple of weeks ago.   So let me jump right on in!   As you all know I have a two and half-year old and a fourteen month old.  That pretty much limits the “appropriate rides” for the family.  Since it was pouring out, I was a drowned rat, and I refused to purchase a poncho, we were very limited.  We found ourselves in the area that had the fairytale character rides, like Peter Pan, Pinocchio, Snow White, Dumbo, the Merry-go-Round etc.  That seemed harmless right?

PD1 loves all of those characters, yet I really have not let her watch any of the movies ( that should have been my first red flag). We thought we were the cat’s pajamas of parents sticking close to such “appropriate rides”  We get in line for Snow White and I may  have been on it before, but I did not remember it.  There was nothing indicating that this could be the possible worse idea that this should be considered an “appropriate ride”. . . well that is if I would have looked around and saw that there were no other kids in line under the age of ten! 

We load up in the car and off we go.  It starts out a little spooky, but nothing that would alarm PD1, then the ride takes a turn for the worst and the witch pops out at you around a corner and it all goes down hill from there.  I thought she was going to claw the hubs to death trying to get inside his rain jacket and she just kept saying, “Scary Snow White!”  The ride was finally over and she was in tears and needed to be talked down off the ledge.  We think another ride that will distract her, so we head to Peter Pan!

Now this ride was not as bad as Snow White, but seriously, PD1 was not convinced. She was just waiting in terror for that crummy witch to pop out at her again.  There was more tears and talking off ledges.

We finally decided that this whole fairytale land is for the birds so we decide to go to Pirates of the Caribbean.  We are convinced that she will love the music and the dancing pirates.  OK, I know by now each one of you reading this is screaming at me, “You are the stupidest parent on the face of the earth!”  Yes, I will own our stupidity.  One quarter the way through Pirate’s I looked over at the hubs who was holding our child’s head in his chest as she is not just crying, but sobbing, and saying over and over, “I want to go home mommy, I want to go home daddy”.  That is when I said to him, “Just so you know, we suck as parents!”  He nodded in full agreement.  We both just held our breath begging for the ride to get over so our little one will only have a week of night terrors not a life time. 

On our way back to Dumbo, a total safe option, we had to work our way by the Haunted House, due to the friggin’ trick or treat lines from hell.  Of course we would!  Why not have to walk right by the scariest part of the park after we just scared the piss out of our child and probably permanently scared her for the rest of her life.  That was another talk off the ledge moment. 

Finally we got to Dumbo and the Merry-go-Round and my thought was to ride those puppies as many times as we could. I was trying to do a “Superman” of reversing the past’s damage.  No, that did not work, that only worked for Superman.   We now have to have a night-light, the star turtle and the door open.  This was a child that could sleep in a cave before this little adventure to the Happiest Place on Earth.  Like I said before, we sucked as parents that day. The only “Happiest Place on Earth”establishment I am going to venture into for a while is Costco!

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It was a dark and stormy afternoon, this past Tuesday, as we headed out to the “Happiest Place on Earth”  for their special Halloween celebration.   When I woke up Tuesday morning it was raining, not just raining, but pouring!  The kind of pouring that Texans call, ” a cow pissin’ on a flat rock” pouring.   I live in Southern California, the only worry we have in October are wildfires, not rain, thunder, lightning and hail. 

With the weather the way it was and the forecast showing it only gettng worse,  I called Disney to see if we could get a rain check since I had purchased these tickets for the family in advance for this particular day.  They nearly laughed me off the phone and pretty much told me that I could buy a poncho from one of the many gift shops and to pretty much suck it up.  So we packed up the kids and headed to the Happiest Place on Earth. 

When we got there, we loaded the kids up in the double stroller and put their rain coats on.  We headed out of the parking structure, which is conveniently located about a mile from the park entrance.  You can take a tram from the parking structure, but that would mean we would have to break down the stroller and all its contents (I tend to over pack when on outings so my stroller usually looks like a yak or sherpa heading to base camp of Everest).   It was only a light drizzle so we decided to “go for it”.   About three minutes into the walk, the heavens open up and we get soaked. It is raining cats and dogs!  I have PD1 holding a unbrella and trying to referee her from stabbing her sister in the eye with the umbrella spokes that is sitting behind her.   While trying to do that, I am not paying attention to where I am going and walk through puddles that could support a school of fish. 

We finally get to the gates, I am soaked, the hubs is soaked, but the kids are fairly comfortable and dry.  As we enter through the security portion of the entrance the Disney staff, must have taken pity on my “drowned rat cat” appearance and did not force the issue.

As we head in there are a million people there!  How could this be? It is pouring! Are there this many people as cheap and dumb as me to insisting on going to Disneyland in the rain?  Everyone is wearing those infamous ponchos that the customer service rep told me about.  I refused to not get one out of principal, which the only person it hurt was me, my rain jacket lost it luster of holding back the rain about an hour into the adventure.

While navigating through the park and you combine strollers, rain, people in ponchos and people texting, you are in the making of a huge disaster of pending foot, leg, hip, arm, back , neck and most of all butt injuries. The butt injuries are the most common because when someone is stupid enough to be pushing a stroller in the rain, while wearing a poncho that they can’t see in, and trying to text or twitter about how much fun they are NOT having at Disneyland, and they run over you, well lets just say the phone finds a new home.

Finally it is time for some rides!  We unload the kids and head to Dumbo!  The line is pleasantly short and we head into the loading section.  As I am stepping into the pink elephant, I am welcomed with an ice cold drench to the feet.  The friggin’ bottom of the ride if full of water!  Oh great! Just great!  Well, that explains why that ride had a short line.  Shortly after my feet get drenched, they rid the water from each bottom.

After Dumbo we take refuge in the Merrry-Go- Round until the rain lets up.   It is now dark and we head to Small World to only find that it is closed.  Drat! However, there is a long line and at Disneyland long lines usually means something fun and exciting.  I ask a random middle-aged guy standing in line with his family what the line was for, he said, “Candy!”  Candy?  I was puzzled.  I know that during this event Disneyland has stations set up for the kids to go and grab a handful of candy from, but this line was something deserving of meeting Mr. Wonka himself.I pressed the guy a bit further to the details of the “candy” and he said, “It is just candy!”  I could not help but laugh out loud and say, “Seriously, you are waiting in an hour long line, in the rain, for plain Hershey bars?”  He said, “Yes, it is all about the experience, plus they give you a lot of candy for the wait!”  I replied back in my soaken, sassy tone, ” Well, if it is a lot of candy you are looking for,  that is what Costco is for!” He was not amused. 

I kept looking back at the line and it just kept getting longer and longer.  The hubs kept saying that we may be missing something so I again asked a staff member and they verified it was just the candy line.  Those people were insane! They had small children, standing in the rain getting soaked for a few measly candy bars!  The hubs and I both agreed that we would rather have hemroid surgery than be that stupid. 

The evening was full of misfits and odd ordeals.  We managed to NOT stay dry, but we kept our humor and mockery of all the idiots we saw.  We must have rode the Merry-Go-Round and Dumbo a million times and we did manage to traumatized PD1 on two of the rides, which I will address in part two of this series. 

The moral of this story is don’t go to Disneyland ever while it is raining, even if you already have paid for your tickets in advance. You will only be surrounded by stupid, wet and insane people. The smart, dry and sane people stayed home and watched Toy Story and ate candy from Costco.

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