I live in a community that is filled with stay-at-home moms and blue hairs. That combination together makes for a very “narcissistic” experience anytime you go out. Each Friday the kids and I head out to our favorite shopping experience (Trader Joe’s) but getting to and from the car can bring a level of extreme adventure to the table that could rival climbing Mount Everest in the risk and cost factor. This is the inspiration to my Top Ten Tuesdays!
10. When scouting out a parking spot, it is not acceptable behavior to pass by a soon-to-be available parking spot, throw on the brakes and then proceed to back up (without looking) ten spots to try to get it. Look, you missed it, move along and give the poor schmuck behind you a opportunity to reap the rewards of your cluelessness while saving his and your bumper!
9. I notice that blue hairs rarely ever look over their shoulder while backing out. It is more like this; adjust review mirror, slam into reverse and hit the gas pedal. Apparently, nothing exists beyond the scope of what is in view of the review mirror.
8. It seems that those that are BMW owners think that the parking lot is the Autobahn. If there is a speeding car in the parking lot, it is a BMW 99.9% of the time. I know that the company once known for making airplanes, but that ship sailed decades ago. You are not in an airplane ready for take off, you are in a car in a parking lot full of all kinds of obstacles, mainly me and my two small children trying to push a cart to our car.
7. When you open your door, please be mindful of the GIANT car within 2 feet of yours. Having your red paint scraped across my door panel just pisses me off!
6. Mothers, when loading up your groceries, please secure your small children first. Allowing your children to play chicken with the BMW is not going to fare well for either party. Do you know how much BMW parts cost to replace?
5. Those that keep Cujo in the car as they run errands. Nothing is more frightening than while getting out of your car a dog in the car next to you jumps up out of nowhere and is able to stick their head through the crack and snaps at you. Don’t make me have to use my pepper spray on the beast!
4. Those that leave unruly children in the car, because they would be hellions in the store is not working for you either. Yes, they are secure in the car, but jumping up and down in the driver’s seat and manhandling all the controls is a recipe for disaster. Risk them knocking down a few display items than taking out 5 parked cars, a little old lady and her purse dog, and a parking lot light post. Trust me your parenting style will be judged about the same with less damage. Better yet leave them at home and risk them burning down your house. At least it would limit it to YOUR stuff being damaged.
3. When looking for a parking spot please multi task and watch for pedestrians!
2. When you know someone is waiting ever so patiently for your spot as you load, please don’t decide you can shift into tortoise mode just to be a PITA. I saw you zipping across the parking lot and loading up your bags with a purpose before you saw that someone is waiting for you to leave. Trust me your display of new-found power is just making you look like a Jack-a-lope!
1. PUT YOUR CART AWAY! It is beyond me why people have issues with this concept, because they would be the first to have a fit if someone’s abandoned cart plowed into the side of their car or into their tail light. This is not only the top of this top ten, but this is my biggest pet peeve. If I can put a cart away with two small children, anyone can!
A Piece of the Pie Hole 