A Brief Visit from an Old Nemesis

Last night I snuggled in and turned on the TV for my Sunday drool fest of watching Bill Paxton in Big Love.   About half-way through I found my stomach not feeling so hot.  I tried to ignore it and follow the plot, but it got stronger and stronger.  Dagnamit! I think I am getting what my two petri dishes had the latter part of the week! 

I finished the show and headed upstairs and went to bed.   I laid there negotiating with my new visitor, but old nemesis, Linda Blair who was sitting on my bed,  that since I had hyperemesis (extreme morning sickness) during both of my pregnancies for a combined 50 plus weeks that I paid my dues of having stomach ailments and that she needs to move along to another house, preferably to the a-hole that cut me off in the rain driving like a jackalope. 

She stayed and proceeded to move closer and closer to me.  I practiced meditating (that by the way is a total crock and don’t waste your time), breathed through the nausea and prayed that I was not going to be reliving the wonderful Sunday dinner I made that night. 

Now she is sitting on top of me, just like she did when I was pregnant!  I am sweating, the room is spinning and my stomach is on fire, but I am determined I am not going to toss my cookies.  That only pissed her off and now she has somehow managed to reach in and twist my insides and jump up and down on my stomach at the same time. ” Uncle! Uncle!”, I screamed as I sprinted to the bathroom and  . . . I don’t need to get that graphic, you all get what just happened. 

That whole scenario went on four more times until the around 4 am.  Finally Linda Blair lost interests in me and headed off to bother some other petri dish infected house or newly pregnant woman. 

I laid there exhausted and a little traumatized that I did this day in and day out 24-hours a day for weeks months on end and one of the pregnancies I was caring for an infant/toddler without help outside of the hubs that had to work everyday and leave me with that wretched Linda Blair, my IV bag and my infant who turned into a toddler while I was still going through it.  I found out this morning, the hubs laid there traumatized reliving our hell in his head too.

This morning when I woke up I had that same stomach flu nausea feeling that set the pace for each and every waking minute of my day while incubating my two kids. With two miscarriages with no symptoms of being pregnant, I knew both times with my two viable pregnancies that they were sticking by how sick I was.   I had a moment of confusion and can I say dispair, was I pregnant again?  That can’t be, I shut the plant down during the birth of PD2! 

Borrowed from blog buddy,Your Personal Super Hero!

I looked at the bottom of my bed and she was not there, Linda Blair that is.  Oh, thank God!  I am at the tail end of the stomach flu! I got up, got dressed and forced myself down stairs and started my day and even mopped my floors. 

I feel pretty crappy and my stomach is pretty unhappy, but hey, I not only survived Linda Blair last night, but I survived her for over a year and half of my life with both pregnancies combined.  Nothing could ever be that bad, so Linda Blair may of won last night, but she is not going to win today!

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No Gold Star for Me!

Today I took PD2 to her 18-month check-up.  I grabbed a bag that I have packed with diapers, wipes and diaper rash cream and added a toy to the mix for the wait.  We headed out and all was well until Linda Blair showed up in the backseat as we were pulling into the doctor’s office parking area.  There is PD2 strapped down in  a five-point harness car seat spewing the contents of her very healthy and nutritious breakfast of chocolate milk and Apple Jacks; yes, a breakfast for future champions!  On a side note I am holding my breath if this was a bout of her random car sickness issues or if she has that god-awful bug that is going around, only time will tell on that one! 

I look back and she is covered from head to toe in stomach contents and I think know that a colorful metaphor flew out of my mouth that refers to another body content that also expels out of your body!  I did not have another change of clothes on hand, which is beyond me why not.  I never EVER leave without an extra change of clothes.  So there I am gagging (I have a high gag reflux, which came after spending 18- long months with Linda Blair while I was pregnant with both kids) while I scooping up the mess with wipes into a few zip lock baggies I had on hand.  I finally strip and clean off PD2 and wrap her in my sweater coat since is cold here right now. . . or should I rephrase for my fellow bloggers that live anywhere but sunny Southern California that it is cooler now, and headed into the doctor’s office. 

As I walk in, I am greeted by the doc himself and he laughed at the sight that just walked in shaking his head.  We have grown a professional fondness for each other over the past three years.  I admire and respect his style of treatment and I think he likes that I refer the heck out to him and I tend to amuse him with my quirky personality and sayings.   There is a new family with their days old baby sitting in the corner and I am trying to play off the fact that I am bringing in my kid in almost her birthday suit so they don’t run screaming for the hills that their baby is going to get horribly sick from my pukie smelling bundle of  joy!   I also heard a mother sitting on the other side of the room tell another mother that now she feels better that she did not put shoes or socks on her kid as she looks my direction. 

I was quickly called into the exam room and when the doc came into examine her, I told him what happened.  I was sheepish in the fact I SUCKED as a mother in not being prepared and of all times to blow it, is to be in front of the pediatrician!  He went on with his exam telling me that he once was thrown up on by his daughter as they were taking off on a flight and had to deal with wearing it for two hours.  Ok, so this happens to the best of us, even a doctor.  I am feeling more comfortable and thinking at the end of the visit I will get my normal gold star stamp of approval of my excellent care of my rug rats! 

So, as he was leaving, I asked, “Sooooo, I know the kid will get the sucker, but am I going to get my gold star?”  He laughed and shook his head  and he followed it up with, “I like PD2’s new fashion statement, but be thankful that it was not raining today.”

Rat Bastard! No Gold Star for me and I now must go and clean up after Pukefest 2011!

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Top Ten Reasons I Could Never Be A ‘Granola’ Mom

I  have fundamentals in education (play-based education/Montessori) that tend to somewhat line up with a whole other species of motherhood I can’t relate with – The Granola Mom. 

 I would say that I am a  practical and moderately conservative person in most areas; fiscally, morally, within my scope of  child rearing, and attire and home decor ( I tend to stay true to the classics and not be trendy).  I let my sense of humor and sarcasm take lead in most things and try not to be too ridgid.

I can find my same species of motherhood in this arena, but for some reason the only granola that I can stomach is the one I eat for breakfast.  I try to keep an open mind when I hear their philosophies and ideas (I have a few close friends that fall in this category), but with no avail, I just don’t get it.   This is the inspiration of Top Ten Tuesdays and is not meaning to bring offence to anyone. It is just my personal satire and opinion and if you don’t like what I am saying, then don’t read it.  🙂

10.  The Family Bed: So not my cup of tea.  I don’t mind the occasional snuggle time, but I like my peaceful sleep AND my adult extra curricular time without a foot in my back.

9.  Positive Time Outs:  What is that?  A time out should be anything but positive.  Sit your butt down, think about how you just hit your sister over the head with a toy and be lucky that all you are getting is a time out!

8.  Never Say No to Your Child, Use Positive Reinforcements:  Really, that is going to set them up for success for adulthood? I have heard NO more times than I would like. “NO, you don’t make enough money to buy the car of your dreams”.  “No, you can’t drive above the speed limit, and here is your $150 ticket.”   “NO, you did not get the promotion.”  “NO, he does not want to date you anymore.”

 7.  Never Letting Your Kids Cry It Out/Self Sooth: I have a friend that has not slept in four-year because of this theory of creating abandonment issues if they let them cry it out.  I see how that is working out for the kids and her; she is a zombie and the kids have anxiety issues.  I have two kids that sleep through the night and can entertain themselves well.  Trust me, it is not that I am just “lucky”.  I had to pay the price of a few hard nights and days getting to that point.  NO ONE LIKES TO HEAR THEIR KIDS CRY, but it is my goal to prepare them to be independent and thriving adults and teaching them self soothing skills are the first steps.

6. Mobi Wraps or Slings for Carrying Your Infant: I could never use a Mobi wrap, even though I think they are really cool.  I know I would have dropped my kids on their heads multiple times.  Now, I do think when the kid is ready for High School it is time to get them out of the sling and buy them a car. Trust me, I have seen that.

5. Breastfeeding with No Discretion:  Just whipping it out in public regardless of the setting just because it is your God-given right to do so is disturbing to me.  I am a HUGE advocate of breastfeeding, but let us use a little discretion please! We are not at Marty Gras and you will not get any beads thrown your way for doing so.  Keep second base a novelty!

4. Planting Your Placenta Under A Tree:  Believe it or not I know three people who have done this.   I get the whole primitive idea of this, but the last I checked we have babies in the hospital, we have doctor’s for fertility issues and the idea of asking your doctor to place your placenta in a plastic bucket and then carrying it out of the hospital along with your new bundle of joy is beyond bazaar to me.   I have no idea what they did with my placentas and I would like to keep it that way.  It was bad enough to have the hubs try to photograph my uterus as the doctor was sewing it up.  There are just part of my insides that just needs to stay between it and the medical professionals.

3.  Nine Page Birth Plans:  This one kills me.  As you all know from my postings, The Start of Soapbox Sundays, you know where I stand on this.  I once heard a Labor and Delivery RN say,  “When someone comes in with a nine page birth plan, that usually means they will get a one-way ticket to the OR for an emergency C-section. That is just how the karma seems to work. It is child-birth,  not a trying to achieve a business plan!” 

2.  Breast feeding a Toddler:   I had a rule that when the kids got teeth  the bar was closed and then I pumped until they were close to 12 months old.  Watching  a mother lift up her shirt for a child that walked up to the ‘bar’ and asked for a drink is very disturbing to me.  I have made an observation that it seems more boys are breast-fed later than girls.   I remember when I was in the dating pool, there was a saying, “Chici Boy” which in Spanish essentially means, still on the boob.  Now I get where that saying originated.

1. Not Vaccinating Your Kids:  As we all know Dr. Wakefield manipulated data to prove his theory that certain vaccinations caused autism.  Believe it or not, even with that evidence coming out there are still many that will not vaccinate their kids and illnesses that were once eradicated are alive and well.  Here is the question I asked myself when making that decision to vaccinate before the findings of the information was considered a fraud.  Would I rather risk a chance of autism or a chance of death? To me the answer was quite obvious.

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The Start of Soapbox Sundays

On Sundays I like to read the local paper, let’s just call it the Boca Breeze or otherwise known as “Boca Commie Rag” for all of you Seinfeld Fans.  In doing that I usually get all spun around with the print that is jumping off the pages at me.  My heart rate starts pumping, my hair stands on end and the hubs has to hear my pie hole flap on overdrive about something that I  feel very strongly about. Most of the time the hubs and I agree on everything, which makes it nice for keeping the “domestics” down,there are things that just make my blood boil that he really does not care about and then it enrages me more that he does not see how important the issue is regardless of what side anyone is on.  This is when he tells me go write a book about it.  Well, this forum is not exactly a book forum, but it is a writing forum and now you all are subject to my flapping pie hole or should I rephrase, my typing with great passion and zeal!  Hence the birth of Soapbox Sundays!  

(I wish I didn’t have to put this disclaimer) I understand and respect that people stand on different sides of issues with great passion.   If you like or dislike my point of view, I welcome respectful and well educated points of view (do your research and that is not talking head media or forums like the View, Trya, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, GMC, TMZ, etc – meaning research even what they are saying).   Maybe someone can change my mind and maybe my soapbox can change someone’s point of view. I do feel the more I learn and know the more I realize I don’t know and I am open to hearing all points of views; I feel that makes me a very well rounded person.  That is not saying that some of my convictions I will cling to, but I will always be open hearing what each side has to say.

First Soapbox Sunday issue . . . HOME BIRTHS, A SELFISH CHOICE

“At the end of the day, hospitals are for sick people, and I’m not sick,” said Jacobowitz-Kelly. “I’m going through one of the most natural processes women can go through, so why do it anywhere other than the most natural setting — my home.”   This is an on going quote that I hear in regards to home births and promoting this choice.  Well, let’s talk about that.  Child birth has solid risks involved, you can bleed out, your blood pressure can rise or fall, your body may not be equipped to get out a baby, you can form an infection, and I assume there are more woman based complications that can arise while birthing that child you have put in the time to have.  Now for the baby complications, there can be all kinds of cord issues, the baby can ingest meconium,  there can be presentation issues where the baby can NOT be delivered vaginally because they are breech or trying to push through the pelvic bone, the baby may not be able to tolerate the contractions because they are smothering or essentially crushing them, they can have poor respiratory  issues and fluid in the lungs, and many more things that an go wrong at the eleventh hour where now mother, baby or both are now placed in “sick, needing medical intervention” status.  

I found a site that is put out by the American Pregnancy Organization that states that 875k woman experience pregnancy related complications, 467k  babies are born premature, 307k  babies are at low birth weight and 154k are born with birth defects.  I understand there are many in this group that are probably not considered “life threatening”, but all of these stats are situations needed some sort of medical assessment and treatment.   Those are big numbers and that speaks volumes to me.

 All the statistics in regards of  Hospital Births vs. Home Births are on a shaky note,  seems no one wants to commit or there is not enough data. There are stats that state that there is a  30% C-section rate in the US, and that is the reason for the rise in mortality of mothers, yet they are leaving out that there are older women having babies and more obese women having babies which bring in a whole other layer of complexity.  C-sections seem to becoming a scapegoat to the pro- home birthing communities. 

In most of my research it is all about the mother’s right to her birth plan that the home birthing communities is defending, not what is best for the baby.   This boggles my mind, being a woman that HAD to have a C-section with my first child because she was a complete breech and she was NOT going to turn around and my cord was exposed to collapsing in the birth canal, essentially cutting off the life supply to my child , if and when my water broke.  I also have a friend that would still be pushing her son out three years later, because of his presentation. In my small circle of friends and acquaintances all of the listed above complications has been a factor in someone’s delivery process.  If you, the reader, truly sit down and take stock in the birth stories you have had heard in you circle of influence you could probably check off a many of those as well. The bottome line is holding vigil on a woman’s right to her birth plan is not going to save lifes.

That is why when I hear the quote that hospitals are for sick people it is like nails on a chalkboard.  It is been proven to be medically safer to go to the hospital to have babies. That is why the majority does it.  There are not insurance and doctor agendas, OB’s pay the highest amount of malpractice insurance than any other practitioners.  Why is that?  It is because when things go wrong, they are bad and someone is either dead or seriously injured and when babies start dying or are permanently injured emotions go awry.  I understand that.  I also understand that because of the lawsuit happy land we live in doctors do practice medicine in “defensive” mode. Eighty percent of the tests given today are “CYA” motivated.  I know that with my two pregnancies I had tests and scans that did not really need to be done, but thankfully with both kids they found out I had serious issues during an “un-needed and additional” scan that saved my kids life and/or quality of life. 

I find that may of those that promote home births are the same people that will march in the “Right to Life” rallies and be the first to argue pro-choice with anyone, yet they are willing to compromise the safety and health of their child for a selfish conviction of not wanting “medical professionals to run their birth plans”.  I just don’t understand that thought process,  to me it is as if they are a walking contradiction.  I also find that if things went wrong at home, those women would give anything to reverse the outcome, meaning have that baby at the hospital.  They are not standing by their home birth convictions any longer and that should be a big red flag for women toying with the ideal of home birthing.

As you can tell I have a BIG opinion about this, I even have been published in my local newspaper regarding this issue.  When I hear that someone is trying to take away the legitimacy of what an OB is telling them to do for the best outcome for them and the baby based on known risks or if they are part of this home birth community, I think they are selfish and in many ways very ignorant to the realities of this harsh world; I feel they are choosing to play Russian roulette with life.   It is hard enough to carry a baby to full term without complications, why make it harder? 

I feel that child birth is a beautiful thing and if you are the lucky majority that gets to have normal, non-complicated births, more power to you. However, let the natural process of child birth be monitored by the professional and allow yourself and that child, that you work so hard to carry, have the best medical interventions ready and available if things start to go sideways.  Sacrificing and being selfless of your ideals and wants is what parenting is all about, it should to start from day one of that child’s life.

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First Love Moments Reminded By a Balloon

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Being a parent I learn something new every day.  Actually, the more I learn the more I realize I have so much more to learn.  A week ago we took our two girls to a Disney Live show held at our local civic center.  After the show we headed over for some frozen yogurt and my oldest was given a balloon.  She loved and cherished that balloon the minute it was tied on her hand.

She pranced around the playground proud and full of bounce as the wind tousled the balloon over her head. Once in a while  she would look up and gaze at it with so much love and admiration, even though she just met the balloon.  When we got into the car she was so concerned about it and made sure it was secure and safe for the ride home.  

This made me think of the first moment I fell in love with her and her sister.  Both were at different times, but very defining moments in my life.  With my first child, I fell in love with her the moment I found out she was a girl at my 18-week ultra sound.  She was named within a few days and each day the love grew which really washed away a lot of the fear and worry of all the complications I had with her.  With my second child,  that pregnancy was just one huge roller coaster ride of being high risk, having very similar but more serious complications than with my first, and caring for an infant on top of it all, I had a really hard time trying to embrace the thought of falling in love with her.

Finally, when my second was born,  I fell in love with her the minute they brought her to me while I was in recovery from my C-section.  All the anxiety and fear was now over and I now knew the sex and she had a name. She was healthy, strong and showing a strong sign that she wanted and needed me.  Even the nurses were amazed that she showed such a strong bond to me right away.  It was a moment that I will never forget, just like the moment in a room lit dimly by a utra sound machine.

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