Archive for the ‘pets’ Category

There was this documentary I saw a while ago that disturbed me to the core.  It was on all the Burmese Pythons that are being released into the wild by their irresponsible owners here in the US.  Most of the offences are in the Florida and surrounding states, but it is expanding into the western states. 

Apparently, these snakes can pretty much adapt to any environments and they are at the very top of any ecological food chain destroying the balance of the natural habitat.  That was just one part of the documentary, the other part of the documentary is what shook me to the core and exposed the core to the problem of why these exotic monsters should be left where they belong.

People are dumping these snakes because when the 20 somethings buy them, they are a manageable baby snake and in a couple of years it is eating thier 3-year-old toddler while they are helplessly sleeping in their crib.  Really that has happen several times. 

First off, let’s just address that NO one should ever own something this insane and wild with small children.  I would go as far as to say that there should be legislation passed where if it is legal to have those types of “exotics” that you must meet certain criteria and responsibility levels and safe guards (like owning a gun) and if you don’t then no exotic for you.  

In each case I read about a snake of this magnitude killing a small child, it got out of its cage.  If you saw the people who owned these lethal animals, they barely could take care of themselves and their dental hygiene let alone take care of a snake that was 15 feet long and weighed more than they did. 

Personally, I think exotics being owned by uncertified personnel (meaning you need to be a zoo keeper in a zoo) should be outlawed completely and this is coming from someone who  has  libertarian view points.  But at the end of the day, it is the government agencies and taxpayer’s monies that have to clean up the mess and infestation of biting off more than one can chew owning animals like this so to me legislating heavy handed is fair.   

To conclude my segment of Soap Box Sundays, I feel animals, even the domesticated dog and cat don’t have fair legislation on protecting them from being placed into bad situations.  They have decent legislation of getting them out of horrific situations, but preventing it, is a whole beast in and of its self.  Owning an animal of any kind is a privilege, not a right and it is the owner’s fiduciary duty to be able to take care of it without putting the environment and people at risk.

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We are getting ready to leave for our Thanksgiving family vacation! I have the bags packed, the mail organized the house cleaned, the dog/house sitter arranged and the neighbors notified of our contact info and whereabouts while we are gone.   We also had to go and get a real alarm system installed on our house because our “watch dog” would rather be napping all day (seriously, that  is what she does all day, everyday) than fiercely protecting her domain and her people that dwell within its four walls. 

She is very particular on her nap environment, she must have a blanket down on the couch to cuddle up with and she has to have a pillow to lay her doggie princess head on. If we cover her up, she is in blissful heaven and actually purrs like a cat. So now, this 50 lb lap- dog- pound- puppy rules the roost in regards that her masters had to get an alarm system because heaven forbid a burglar attempts to break in and interrupt her beloved nappy time.  Yes, we are not dog owners, we are owned by our dog.

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That is exactly what PD1 did to me today!  I had put the little terror down for a nap and even though she is potty trained, we are still keeping pull-ups on her only during naps and at night.  I was busy whirling around the house getting ready for the “white-glove test” of the pending visit of the mother-in-law, that I never heard a peep out of PD1’s room. 

After about two hours of doing “housewife” stuff, I headed into wake up both girls.  I did my normal routine in going into PD2’s room first and opening the curtains and then I headed into PD1’s room.  I opened the door and there to my absolute horror was the aftermath of the first and, I hope, last poop-tastrophe Camp Pie Hole will ever experience!   PD1 was sleeping ever so angelic among the carnage and her pants and pull-up flung across the room. Apparently, PD1 forgot to let me know that she needed to go potty and decided to resort to the next best thing.  However, now that she is potty trained she hates the idea of it remaining in her pants so she has figured out to take off her pants and pull up.

To take a bit from my dear blogging friend, the Idiot, there was whaling, gnashing of teeth, hyperventilating, screaming, yelling, crying,  jumping up and down, and head spinning and there I birth of  the hugest cow ever.  I was literally out of my mind of what I was witnessing.  Obviously, PD1 woke up to the weak legged cow standing in her room and jumped up and said, “I went potty everywhere mommy!”  My mind was screaming, “No, sh#% Sherlock!” Yet my mouth said, Let’s get into the shower NOW, and I mean NOW!”  I was so out of my mind I found myself fully clothed in the shower with her scrubbing the filth off of her.  I then dress her, take her down stairs, along with her sister, and head back up schlepping the carpet cleaner, bleach, laundry basket, Clorox Wipes, trash bags, and rubber gloves.
I start to tackle the job. The phone rings and it is my “Aunt Mom” confirming dinner plans for tonight.  This is the first human contact I have had since the realization of the disaster and she had no idea what she just “walked” into. The conversation goes something like this! 
PH:  HELLO!!!! I can’t talk long I am in the middle of a crisis!
AM:  Just confirming that we all are on still for tonight?  What is up?
PH:  I am up to my elbows in f—-ing sh–!  PD1 took her pull-up off during nap and got sh– all over the GD room, toys, bed, carpet!  
AM: (Pause, I could hear her amused smile) Welcome to a another right of passage to motherhood!
PH:  I know that you think this is hilarious! I am NOT amused!  You know how much I hate this type of crap!  This is GD unacceptable Bullsh–!
AM: Pie Hole, it is PD1 being two and a half and yes, this unacceptable behavior and did you address it with her?
PH: Oh, yes I did!  The cow that is still standing here looking at me is proof that my unhappiness with her about this situation was communicated as clear as crystal.
AM:  Good, just calm down and finish doing what you are doing and I will see you soon! Love ya, glad I am not ya!
It took me two hours to clean the carnage from the “poop-tastrophe”.  As  I was cleaning I wondered if I was to hard on my first-born.  I wondered if I traumatized her with my total melt down and birth of a cow.  I thought about it and came to the conclusion that it was not as bad as I was making it out to be, until I went to dump the second bucket of water from the steam cleaner, and found the dog hiding in my master bedroom closet.  I then peeked down the stairs and saw both my kids cuddled up under a blanket watching TV VERY quietly hoping that the crazy lady upstairs does not come down. 
 Oh, God, I really screwed them up all three of them!  The guilt was rushing over me and I headed back to the mess I was dealing with.  As I entered the disaster again, all the guilt washed away and I thought, of the Bill Cosby joke, “Kid, I brought you into this world and I can take you out!” 
Later that night after the room was cleaned, the carpet was like new, the toys were disinfected, the bedding was in the wash, and I was drinking a much-needed margarita at my favorite Mexican restaurant, I asked Aunt Mom, if I was totally insane when she called and I am sorry I spewed obscenities the way I did.  She assured me that I was within normal range of emotion and that she did find the whole thing very amusing.  PD1 was sitting next to me coloring and chatting away like nothing ever happened and was fine.  I breathed a sigh of relief that I did not traumatized her completely by my less than shining moment at a parent and that I did not make a complete ass out of myself to my Aunt Mom.   Kids are resilient little buggers and they defiantly make life very surreal and  interesting every day.  Parents, on the other hand, have a lot of growing and stretching to do each and every interesting  and surreal filled day.  

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A year ago we bought a house on a quiet cul-de-sac equipped with fireman, police, a pilot, a couple of scientists and to our dismay a rental property next door that came equipped with a barking, howling husky.   It has been the battle of the neighbors to get this dog to shut up, or should we say get the owners to get the dog to shut up. 

This dog is a lonely dog and its owners leave for the day very early and come home very late.  During that time this dog howls non-stop!  Back in August they left the dog while they went on vacation for 10-days and that dog would howl from about 5:00 am to about 1:00 am with a couple breaks in the day.  It was like nails on the chalkboard and all the neighbors where coming to me asking me if I did anything about the dog. 

I already called the landlords months back and they told me it was my problem.  But then again this is the same people who came up to me while I was still in escrow and told me that the 30-year-old fence that separates our property  is OUR problem and when do I think we will get that fixed? If you would have seen what we were moving into (a foreclosure) that we needed to gut and remodel (which we did ourselves) I smiled and told them, “Hi, my name is  Pie Hole,  I am glad to meet you!”   I called the city and I can let that damn fence fall down if I want it to, so that is not a priority.  I even baked some cookies and brought it over to the owners and talked to them about the dog, the other neighbor kids offered to walk the dog – we are a loving cul-de-sac. Yet the problem only got worse.

 Well, it finally happened.  By  day six of the dog being left while the owners where on vacation the whole neighborhood was calling.  The dog finally was shut up and life was back to normal . . . until last night! 

I was nestled in my bed (which our bedroom window faces their backyard) and I was just about to fall asleep and I hear the howling!  I am tossing and turning, the hubs is sound asleep, of course and I just laid there fuming.  I throw open my window and yell, “SHUT UP!’, Shut up, please shut up!”  The dog shut up! It worked! I crawled back in bed and as I was just about to fall asleep, the lonely long howls start-up again!   That is it! I have now come to my last resort.  I am talking to Mailman “Newman”  Glenn today (he hates dogs) and arrange a pick up and drop off of the dog about 20 miles away.  If I am question, I know nothing and this post will disappear.  . . I will deny, deny, deny!

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 . . . that has a cold nose and wagging tail!

I have a dog that is quite the busybody of the neighborhood.  This is what she does every morning; rain or shine! She will stand like that for many minutes, which is amazing and amusing to me!   She has to observe all that walk down our street facing the backyard wall.  She does not bark or make a sound, just observes.  Sometime she wags her tail which I am convinced it is due to the fact it is the firemen that run up our street for their morning physical training regime, which I don’t blame her. 

None the less, if this dog could talk, I know that she would be handing out salutations to all that pass by.

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